


bad liar

by loonaloves



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, and jinsoul is like ??? NO that's my ENEMY??, and jinsoul may or may not like her a little more than that, but fluff too, but sooyoung has her eye on this fucken hottie JUNGEUN, little does she know tho that jungeun is infatuated with her, love triangle?? yeah lmao, not exactly enemy but idk, so jinsoul and sooyoung are roommates and best friends, u already know there's angst if you've ever read one of my fics, yes finally a new fic i know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonaloves/pseuds/loonaloves
Summary: sooyoung likes jinsoul, but maybe not in the way jinsoul would like her to. especially considering the crush jinsoul's been hiding on her since high school. but when jungeun comes along and steals sooyoung's heart immediately, things get heated for jinsoul. all she wants is to get jungeun out of sooyoung's life. which is kind of funny, considering all jungeun wants is to get into jinsoul's.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoy lmao  
> also idk why i keep making sooyoung and jinsoul roommates either hhsjjfkd

Sitting at a table in a practically abandoned library wasn't exactly the ideal way to spend a Saturday night. Especially considering the fact Jinsoul promised her parents she'd graduate college and get a good job, while disappointment was the only thing Jinsoul could come up with when she tried looking into her own future.

School came easily to her- always has. But college really just decided to kick her in the ass in terms of the heaps of work she was given every day. She already struggled to keep her eyes open, despite the clock only reading 7:00 at night, and she didn't think she wanted anything more than a little bit of sleep. She could have fallen asleep right there, if she tried to. School drained her on every single level you could think of.

She looked back down at her textbook, which started to look more like a bunch of random words slapped onto a page than sentences to be easily comprehended. With a loud sigh, she finally decided to close the textbook and- against her better judgement of avoiding public embarrassment, even if only a few people remained in the library at this time anyway- crash her forehead against the surface of its hard cover.

_Maybe these words will enter my brain now and make me a little less stupid._

She opened her phone, looking down at the screen that popped up with exactly zero notifications. She bit her lip, contemplating texting Sooyoung to help her study. At least then things would feel a little lighter. Deciding against it, she plopped it face-down against the table and looked back at her notebook; the pretty, half-done notes shouting vibrantly at her to just finish them.

She really should finish them. Really should. But she was so fucking tired of writing it she could have sworn her eyelids began to droop.

"Hey," a voice from out of no where called, startling Jinsoul.

"Jesus-!" Jinsoul whirled backward, facing the voice. "What the fuck, Jungeun?" Jungeun only laughed at that while Jinsoul rolled her eyes, scrunching her nose at her presence. After so long of not seeing her, too! Why?!

_Why_ did it always have to be Kim Jungeun who talks to her at the worst times?! She felt sick every time she was near her and grew accustomed to the urge of throwing her into a raging pit of lava at the sound of her laughter. She fought off the need to run out of the room screaming with all her might, deciding to be a little nice and bare her unnecessary conversations due to the little humanity left that Jinsoul held. Simultaneously, she did nothing to pretend or act as if she was enjoying their time-wasting chats, in fact, she can't recall if she smiled around her even once.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she giggled, the sound fueling Jinsoul's anger. "Sooo..." Jungeun dragged the syllable along, propping herself against the table Jinsoul sat at. Even at Jinsoul's clearly annoyed grunt, she continued. "There's a project in computer science coming up..." Jungeun said with a smile.

Jinsoul rolled her eyes as she opened up her textbook again, figuring that writing these tedious notes would be more interesting and a better use of Jinsoul's precious time than conversing with Jungeun was- or ever will be. "Oh really?" Jinsoul asked in an uninterested tone, eyes scanning the same words she read a hundred times earlier to try to make sense of them.

"Mhm," Jungeun confirmed.

"And..?" Jinsoul dared to ask. She always knew there was more than just that with Jungeun.

"I... uh... I kinda want to be your... your partner," Jungeun offered slowly and innocently, with a shy grin plastered onto her face. She felt as if she'd break into a sweat in Jinsoul's perimeter, everything about her overwhelming Jungeun's senses. It wasn't like her to converse so casually with people she wouldn't consider her friend, but Jinsoul... she was different. So different.

Different in ways Jungeun wishes she could explain to Jinsoul. She tried hard to not bother her too much, but sometimes she really just needs to see her. Even at her toughest times, Jinsoul's presence eased her in ways she didn't understand. Somehow, though, she always felt like she was annoying Jinsoul, like a bratty little sister. So over the last few weeks, she tried to limit her visits. But she couldn't help herself when one of her friends just informed her she was going to drop out of college next week. That upset her beyond any words, and she really wanted to see Jinsoul. To hear her honey-like voice. _Just for a few minutes_ , she promised herself.

Jinsoul heaved through an annoyed breath, "I'm good. I have Sooyoung."

"B-"

"If you're going to say 'but', don't even bother. I'm not changing my mind. Of all people, you wouldn't exactly be one of my first choices," Jinsoul informed.  
Jungeun shut her mouth for a peaceful moment of silence, to which Jinsoul cherished.

Jungeun should have seen this coming. Of course Jinsoul would want Sooyoung. She's prettier, funnier, less awkward, more social... she quite literally has it all. And that includes being the apple of Jinsoul's eye. She let out an exasperated breath and got off of the table.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked," Jungeun muttered, looking at Jinsoul and trying to sound more cheery than she felt.

"Hm," Jinsoul nodded. "I mean- you probably knew this was coming."

"Yeah," Jungeun agreed through a soft exhale.

"And you probably knew I don't carry any want for your friendship anyway," Jinsoul added, making Jungeun's fragile heart tremble in a slight ache.

"I guess..." Jungeun's voice only seemed to grow quieter as she let out a dead laugh.

"I'm really not trying to be a jerk. I swear. I don't hate you. I just- well... how to word it..." Jinsoul trailed off in thought.

"Hate my company?" Jungeun suggested, looking down at her feet.

"That's a way to word it. But that still sounds mean."

"No, I kinda figured anyway. I tried not to be around too much but..." Jungeun began, twiddling her thumbs. "But I just wanted to see you again today." Jungeun forced herself to look up at Jinsoul with a smile.

Jinsoul stared at her for a moment, before turning back to her textbook. "It's fine."

A minute of silence passed before Jungeun decided it was best to just leave and stop Jinsoul's annoyance. She tried to apologize, but her voice gave out and she only ended up mouthing a sorry as she scooted quickly out the library doors.

Jinsoul felt like she could finally breathe again, taking in a large breath of air at the loss of Jungeun's presence. It seemed just _that_ much fresher. She closed her textbook for good and packed all her things back into her bag, sliding it over her shoulders as she picked her phone up from where it laid on the table.

_1 new message_

Curiously, Jinsoul clicked on the notification and entered her passcode- which, of course, was the date of the day she and Sooyoung met; the first day of college, when she got her first ever roommate. She smiled every single time she typed in that passcode.

_Sooyoung: it's eight at night where r u i bought us food_

Quickly, Jinsoul's fingers tapped in a response.

_Jinsoul: be there in 5!_

_Sooyoung: it's getting cold and i ate ur rice_

_Jinsoul: what the fuck sooyoung_

_Sooyoung: it's already in my stomach_

_Sooyoung: there is no more_

_Sooyoung: think before you decide to be late next time_

Jinsoul chuckled, rolling her eyes even though Sooyoung couldn't see her. She was walking as quickly as she could back to their dorm in pursuit of both Sooyoung's company and food. She held her phone tightly in her hand, smiling down at the screen as she worked to write out another reply.

Of course, that was until she tripped on an unexpected elevation in the sidewalk and fell face-first onto the pavement.

Getting up with a pained grunt, she held her nose, which, upon observation, was indeed a bleeding mess. "Ow..." She muttered, looking at the blood splattered on the pavement. She groaned, looking at its inky color in the dark night sky. "God damnit... Why does this happen to me of all people..."

Her hand found the phone that slipped out of her hands and landed a few feet away from her body and picked it up, only for her face to contort in horror, gasping as she looked at the shattered mess of her screen.

"No, no, no... Please..." She begged quietly as she tried desperately to turn her phone on. "Come on... Please..."

After minutes of hopeless trying and a thick blood oozing from her nose, she finally gave up and sighed, "Fuck." She shoved her phone carelessly into the back pocket of her jeans, standing up with a pained yelp. What the fuck was wrong with her ankle?

She felt like crying out in frustration, not only was her ankle killing her, but she couldn't text anyone to pick her up either. "I fucking hate my life oh my god," She spat under her breath. With a slight limp, Jinsoul managed a few steps at a time, stopping after a minute or so of attempted walking each time until she felt motivated enough to limp again. She groaned, knowing her food must've either been completely cold right now or eaten by Sooyoung. She propped herself onto a nearby bench, rolling up her jeans until her swollen ankle was exposed. Even a gentle tap against the puffy skin sent a surge of pain through her body, causing her to hiss and jolt.

Annoyed, Jinsoul grew mad for a reason not even she knew. She had to wait longer to see Sooyoung. Her food was undoubtedly cold by now. Jungeun of fucking course had to go out of her way once again to talk to her. She couldn't even finish her notes for a test the next Friday! Everything fucking went wrong. When things look up, they go right back down. Her face went red at each thought- also because of the piercing coldness of the transition between autumn and winter- and, without thinking, she angrily reached to clench something in her fist. Maybe leaving her hand right by her ankle wasn't the best idea.

"Ow! Oh my- fucking fuck- Jesus-" She shouted, slowly becoming quieter. "How the fuck am I supposed to-"

"Jinsoul?"

_Oh no._

_Of course._

Sighing, Jinsoul mustered up the last bit of her dignity to reply; very unenthusiastically, at that. " _What_ could you _possibly_ want?" She groaned.

"Well, I was just... just passing by, and," Jungeun stammered. "And you kind of sounded in pain."

"I'm _fine_ ," Jinsoul huffed below her breath.

"O-okay," Jungeun nodded, looking down to the sidewalk, not wanting to look at Jinsoul. She should probably leave now. But seeing Jinsoul in pain like that... she couldn't just walk away! Before she did anything, though, she needed to know if Jinsoul actually _wanted_ her help. "Jinsoul, do you hate me?"

Jinsoul looked up at Jungeun's wide eyes, bright and hopeful. She fought away the feeling in her stomach looking at her as she remembered who exactly this was. "No. Not at all," Jinsoul replied and shrugged. "Why do you keep asking?"

"Because I feel like you do," Jungeun insisted. "Can you like... tell me something if you're thinking it? I'm not gonna be hurt, I'm not two. If you don't like me, just tell me."

"I never said I liked you. I'd be lying. And I never said I hated you. Because I don't. You're just-"

" _Annoying_?" Jungeun finished the sentence for her. "I figured. But god damnit Jinsoul, you're literally hurt. Just let me bring you back to your dorm or something."

Jinsoul could just barely see in the darkness now, but she could still make out the way Jungeun held out her hand to her. She stared at it for a long while, thinking about whether or not she should actually let her help. Jinsoul knew that, even if it took a lot of time, she probably could get back home. But... it would be a lot quicker and easier to just let Jungeun help. Not to mention less painful.

Jungeun brought her hand back to her side after realizing Jinsoul was only going to stare at it for eternity. "Suit yourself, I guess," Jungeun mumbled as she began to walk away, not bothering to-

"Wait!" Jinsoul shouted, immediately causing Jungeun to turn and look back at her with an acknowledging nod. "Could... Um, could you- like, uh-"

"Don't worry," Jungeun smiled, walking back over to Jinsoul. "Can I..?" She asked, placing an arm under Jinsoul's thighs and the back of Jinsoul's neck. Jinsoul quietly, but quickly, nodded, giving her approval as Jungeun easily lifted her off the bench. "Where's your dorm?"

"Just walk straight two more blocks," Jinsoul answered, feeling so incredibly awkward and uncomfortable in Jungeun's arms. She wanted to jump off and run back to her dorm as quickly as she could, but, of course, she couldn't. She quietly watched as each building passed, silently questioning Jungeun's strength. She was surprised such a tiny girl could lift her. She looked everywhere except at the person who carried her, wanting to forget who that person even was. She would soon be near Sooyoung, and that's all that matters.

"Is this the complex?" Jungeun inquired after she followed Jinsoul's instruction. Jinsoul looked at the building, noticing that it did, indeed, hold her room. On instinct, she looked up to the window of Sooyoung's room, admiring her silhouette from the light inside her room. She had to stop herself from sighing in awe.

"Yes," Jinsoul replied.

Jungeun walked up to the door, arms beginning to burn when she suddenly realized she wouldn't be able to open the door. She looked down at Jinsoul, smiling gently. "You got it from here?" She asked.

"Uh," Jinsoul said, looking away from Jungeun again. It felt so awkward being so close to her. She hoped this would be the last time this ever had to happen. She remembered the flight of stairs she'd have to walk up to get to her room, ankle already aching in pain at the thought of it. But, she guessed it was better than making Jungeun do it for her. Other than the discomfort of being in the position where she had to be carried by Jungeun, it was probably also a burden for her. She didn't exactly care, but she didn't want to be seen as crude. Her thoughts were probably best remained unspoken. "Yeah. I'll be fine from here."

With that, Jungeun, as gently and carefully as she could, brought Jinsoul back to her feet. She grinned at Jinsoul, not exactly expecting a smile back, but it still felt obligatory to do so. She waved, "Good night."

Jinsoul nodded, not caring that Jungeun couldn't see it, considering she was already walking away. She didn't waste another second before swinging the door open and, as fast as she could with her limp, forced herself into the complex and headed straight for the stairs.

_If only we had a fucking elevator_ , Jinsoul sighed in thought, clinging to the railing as she hopped on one foot to the next step, ascending slowly. So far, she'd only made it up one flight of stairs, which meant there were still two more to go. She really wanted to bang her head against a wall. Even more so when she realized that there was, in fact, an elevator that she could have used.

She frowned, looking down the stairs to glance at the main floor elevator that was now almost out of sight. She looked straight ahead at the elevator that was down the long hall- the _really_ long hall. She grunted in annoyance as she continued hopping her way up the stairs, cursing under her breath, using her hurt ankle the least as she could.

From this day forth, she would never complain about having to walk up stairs again, after getting a taste of what this was like. If karma really is real, this was probably it. Out of breath, she looked up at the last flight of stairs she'd have to pass, closing her eyes tight and opening them again to make sure this wasn't just a fever dream or something. _Nope_. She slowly lowered herself to the ground until she was sitting, scooting herself to lean against the wall. She pulled her now-broken phone out of her pocket and looked down sorrowfully at it. She ran her thumb over the ruined, cracked screen, pressing the power button with little hope left for the last time, realizing that her phone was gone for good. Right when she just payed for her new data plan, too. She had no intention of getting back up soon unless absolutely necess-

"Are you okay..?" A male's voice erupted from above Jinsoul, causing her to look up immediately with wide eyes.

She realized how dumb she must have looked. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. I'm, like, totally fine. That sounded sarcastic but it wasn't, I promise, just-"

"Okay," He cut her off. "I got it." And with that, he rolled his eyes, walking down the hall.

Jinsoul's gut twisted with annoyance and anger, "Wait!" She exclaimed, marching towards him to the best of her ability. "What the-"

"Would you let me get to my room in peace?" He grunted, and then he was gone.

Staring at the empty hallway in disbelief, Jinsoul laughed lifelessly. "Fine! Guess I'll just- get up the stairs myself then!"

When she finally saw the door that lead to her dorm, she hunched over in relief, letting out a contented breath. She twisted the doorknob open, shutting the door behind her, and fell onto the couch, like a magnet drawn to metal. She closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of finally laying down. She felt like she could just ware off to sleep, lulled by the comfort of-

"It's nine o'clock! Jinsoul, are you out of your mind?" She laughed upon hearing Sooyoung's distressed voice, forcing her eyes to open to look at the beautiful girl in front of her.

"I fell. And hurt my ankle," Jinsoul filled in the blanks for Sooyoung. "And broke my phone."

"Oh, goodness," Sooyoung whispered, shaking her head as she placed her forehead on her palm. "That's why you weren't answering my texts..."

"Glad to know you're concerned," Jinsoul smiled tiredly at Sooyoung.

Sooyoung scoffed, almost laughing, "You wish."

"I _know_ ," Jinsoul winked.

Sooyoung sat down next to where Jinsoul's head laid, playing with Jinsoul's soft strands of hair. Jinsoul closed her eyes and leaned into Sooyoung's touch, wishing so badly that it felt more than just platonic to Sooyoung. She didn't even know when she started falling for Sooyoung; just that she was falling for her, harder than she ever wanted to. She wished she could pinpoint the exact moment and go back in time to prevent it from ever happening, because as much as she adores Sooyoung, she is making her life so difficult. But with that, she got the best roommate she could ever ask for and the most amazing friend you could ever have, and she wouldn't trade it for the world. So if she had to have a little crush on her, then by all means, she'd continue going through it. She loved Sooyoung's company, her aura, how all her problems seemed to lift in her perimeter.

"You're the best, Sooyoung," Jinsoul hummed, unable to erase to small smile that seemed to be embedded onto her face.

"I put your food in the fridge," Sooyoung started to explain, still staring warmly down at Jinsoul's relaxed form. "Reheat it whenever you want."

Jinsoul accepted, "Alright." She stayed there, never wanting to leave. She remembered the day they met; the day she found the girl she'd be spending the next few years with. And... maybe, just maybe... even longer, too.

_Jinsoul held her luggage tightly in her hand, rolling the bag to her designated room. She knew the name of her soon-to-be roommate, Ha Sooyoung, but knew nothing else about her. She inhaled shakily, reminding herself that first impressions matter. This is the person who she's going to spend so much of her time with- if all goes well. She was hoping to find companionship with Sooyoung, wanting to have a friend while going into an entirely new city, with new people, at a college she thought she'd only be able to dream of attending._

_Her parents always egged her on about how she had to finish her education as a high honor student, to aim for the spot of valedictorian. She wouldn't consider herself shy, but she wasn't terribly social, either. She was outgoing enough to look forward to the college parties she's heard so much about, and to find a new group of friends to talk to and hang out with. She smiled as she neared the door, hands shaky and almost unsure as she went to open it._

_Before she could, though, the door swung open itself, causing Jinsoul to open her eyes wide at the unexpected action. She peered in cautiously, looking left and right for her roommate, to see if she was already here._

_"Hello!" A pretty girl jumped into view suddenly, grinning welcomingly as she held the door open for Jinsoul. "Sorry if I scared you, I was just hiding behind the door. The room isn't haunted or anything!" Sooyoung laughed, which seemed to be infectious, considering how Jinsoul found herself emitting a small giggle as well._

_She couldn't stop staring at her, almost forgetting that she needed to go into the room and unpack her stuff. She only remembered that she needed to when Sooyoung began to give her an odd stare, Jinsoul nodding in acknowledgement- as well as embarrassment- as she stepped into the room, rolling her luggage behind her._

_She didn't bring much, only one medium sized suitcase, so it probably shouldn't take too long to unpack. She looked back at Sooyoung as she pushed aside her suitcase for now, smiling widely at her. She wanted to get to know her, so she already decided before that, to get to know her roommate, she would invite her to lunch and talk with her more there. Nerves seemed to strike her suddenly, as if realizing how impactful this moment will be in the future of their potential friendship._

_"Sooyoung," Jinsoul began with a warm tone. "After I unpack my things, wanna join me for lunch? I was going to grab something on my way here, but I figured I could get to know you a little better over some food."_

_Sooyoung immediately accepted, "Of course! Do you need any help unpacking though?"_

_Jinsoul looked down at her bag, thinking of all the things she packed. Clothes, toiletries, brush, electronics, headphones, chargers... She only grabbed the absolute necessities, not wanting to overpack. "If you don't mind," Jinsoul replied, unzipping her bag as Sooyoung kneeled beside her, ready to help out._

_Together, they sorted everything to where they should go, and Sooyoung even showed Jinsoul around the dorm; the kitchen, Sooyoung's room, her own room, bathrooms, lounge, everything was all mapped out in Jinsoul's brain by now. Small talk was made every now and then when they weren't too busy sorting everything to where it belongs._

_Sooyoung slipped on her shoes as Jinsoul made sure she had enough money in her wallet for the lunch they were about to get. "Sooyoung, you ready?" Jinsoul asked, shoving her wallet into her pocket._

_"Mhm!" She hummed, rushing up to Jinsoul to put her hand in hers. "Lets go!"_

"Jinsoul?" Sooyoung whispered, brushing some hair out of Jinsoul's face. She was met with her closed eyes, steady breathing, slightly parted lips. She laughed quietly at the sight, noticing how she'd drifted off to sleep in her touch.

Oh, how badly did Jinsoul want to wake up the next morning still with Sooyoung.

She knew better, though, than to believe in miracles, because before she even opened her eyes, she already knew she'd be alone, draped across the couch. She sat up with an exasperated breath, a yawn forcing its way out of Jinsoul's mouth. She blinked, adjusting her tired vision until the room unblurred. She noticed the fact that she had a blanket over her body now with a smile, Sooyoung must have gotten it for her. She thanked Sooyoung in her head as she cocooned herself in the blanket, smiling as she inhaled deeply, enjoying the faint scent of Sooyoung's perfume. She must've brought this blanket from her room to give to Jinsoul. Jinsoul hummed at that, smiling gratefully as her hand maneuvered its way to the television remote. It was her second best option now that her phone wouldn't work.

She went to the YouTube option, laughing knowingly when the song she was going to listen to was the first one on her recommended list. She clicked on the remote, watching the screen load for a short second before the music played.

Sooyoung had recommended this song to Jinsoul a few months ago, knowing that Jinsoul would love it. Jinsoul didn't know if this was her favorite song because it was good, or her favorite song because of Sooyoung. She hummed quietly along to the lyrics, enjoying the woman's voice and the instrumentals. Everything about this song was so pretty, she loved it. She listened to it as much as she could, if she could play this song her entire life, she would. She always thought of Sooyoung while listening to the lyrics, which fit accurately, considering the woman sang about having a one-sided romance.

Sooyoung walked quietly into the room at the sound of the song, looking up at the television screen and then down at Jinsoul, happily wrapped in Sooyoung's blanket. She smiled, laughed a little, too, as she made her way to sit on the couch next to Jinsoul.

"You still listen to this?" Sooyoung bit back the large smile that threatened to take place at the fact Jinsoul still listened to the song she told her to listen to all those months ago. Her heart felt warm, knowing her best friend really did enjoy it. She obviously knew she would, but still. It was a nice, comfy feeling.

And the same kind of feeling took place in Jinsoul's heart whenever she heard the song, too. Except maybe for a different reason.

Jinsoul nodded quickly at Sooyoung's rhetorical question with a cute little grin, giggling lightly. Sooyoung laughed a little, breathlessly, seeing the cutie beside her. She was so, so lucky to have her as her roommate. She never once took that for granted, and she enjoyed their friendship more and more each day. She really doesn't know what she'd do without Jinsoul, doesn't know how she got through life before meeting her. She was like the sunshine in her life, always there for her, always motivating her to do even those little things, like buying that bracelet she really wanted. She was always there for Sooyoung, through thick and thin. Sooyoung was so grateful for that, grateful for her. She could never have asked for a better companion.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Sooyoung asked, getting up from the couch. It was these kinds of things she liked doing for Jinsoul in return, hoping Jinsoul knew how much their friendship meant to Sooyoung.

"Do we have pancake mix still?" Jinsoul looked up wide eyed at Sooyoung.

"Hm... I can check," Sooyoung said, running over to the breakfast cabinet to check for pancake mix. _Cereal... Fruit bars... Oatmeal..._ She sighed, _no pancake mix_. She would feel sad about disappointing her best friend, so she threw a sweatshirt on and shoved her wallet in its pocket. "I'm gonna go to the store and get it, okay?"

Jinsoul nodded. "Okay. Can I come?" She asked with a childish grin.

"You want to?" Sooyoung raised an eyebrow, to which Jinsoul nodded again and got up to run over to Sooyoung's side, sliding on a pair of shoes. Jinsoul smiled, acknowledging that her ankle no longer killed her with every step. "Alright, then."

Jinsoul held onto Sooyoung's arm with a smile, enjoying her warmth. She wished she could be by her warmth forever, it was so comforting. They walked hand-in-hand to the grocery store, opening the door with the sound of the little bell. Sooyoung smiled at that sound every time she heard it, Jinsoul had noted that a little while ago. Unconsciously, she found herself beginning to smile every time she heard that sound, too.

They got their pancake mix- and smoothies, due to Jinsoul's begging- checked it out, and left the store. Sooyoung held the bag while Jinsoul immediately opened her smoothie, drinking it happily.

They walked in mostly silence, other than the sound of Jinsoul's slurping and giggling for no reason- she always felt so giddy when she went places with Sooyoung, even as simple as a grocery store. Their steps were synchronized, each one helping orchestrate the rhythm of their feet pounding against the concrete sidewalk.

"Ew, what is that?" Sooyoung grimaced, pausing in her steps as she looked down on the pavement, causing Jinsoul to do the same. She gasped when she saw the faint blood stain on it, immediately knowing it was probably her own from last night. Instinctively, she went to hold her nose for a second. "How did we not see that when we came this way?" Sooyoung laughed.

Jinsoul shrugged awkwardly, playing along, "Don't ask me." They hopped over the stain, continuing their journey back to their dorm.

They suddenly paused again, due to Sooyoung stopping in her tracks yet again. She stared ahead, causing Jinsoul to glance worriedly at her. She looked ahead to where she was looking, jaw dropping as she saw.

"W-who's she..?" Sooyoung muttered, voice sounding fragile.

Jinsoul didn't even want to answer. Didn't want the name to leave her mouth while she was right there with Sooyoung. She blinked, making sure that she wasn't seeing things- that it wasn't Jungeun over there that Sooyoung was staring at.

"I, uh, I don't know," Jinsoul lied through her teeth, wincing at the feeling of fibbing to Sooyoung. But sometimes, things are better left unknown. She had to get herself and Sooyoung away, as quick as possible, thinking quickly of some lame excuse to get them to go back to the store or something.

Jungeun finally locked eyes with Jinsoul, noticing her wide-eyed stare and ajar mouth, smiling towards her. _Oh no_. Jinsoul felt like she could break into a sweat as Jungeun began to walk towards her in what felt like slow-motion, Jinsoul almost being able to hear the blood rushing to her ears.

Thinking fast, she started tugging hurriedly on Sooyoung's sweatshirt. "Sooyoung, we forgot toothpaste at the store and we really really need some," Jinsoul rushed, becoming less and less patient as her words went on and Jungeun advanced closer. "Sooyoung, lets go, go go go, now, we forgot and we have to, we need it, we-"

"Hey Jinsoul," Jungeun greeted with a small smile. "And Jinsoul's friend." She looked over at the girl standing next to Jinsoul.

Tensing up, Jinsoul quickly added, "Actually, she's my-"

"Sooyoung," Jinsoul's friend returned the smile that flashed her way, offering her hand to Jungeun to shake it. "My name is Sooyoung."

Jinsoul never wanted to disappear more in her life.

Jungeun chuckled, shaking Sooyoung's hand. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Jungeun."

Sooyoung's eyes bulged as she turned to face Jinsoul, mouth opening wide to speak. "Jungeun? As in the-"

"The... the, uh," Jinsoul thought, trying desperately to save herself, or somehow pull herself out of this situation. Never did she think she'd live to witness the day Sooyoung and Jungeun met. She was speechless yet had so much to say at the same time.

"...You've talked about me?" Jungeun asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jinsoul bit her lip, looking down at the ground, really wanting to run away. "Yeah, um, just-"

"She talks about how much you a-"

" _Amaze_ me!" Jinsoul quickly exclaimed, saving herself with a wide smile- a forced, awkward one, at that.

Jungeun blinked at both girls emotionlessly. "...Uh huh."

"Yeah! And um," Jinsoul continued, making sure she gave Sooyoung no time to talk. The confused expression on Sooyoung's face would have made Jinsoul laugh if this were any other scenario, but since it's actually not, and the reality was sadly this, she prayed Jungeun didn't catch onto the look. "Well, I- we- I talk about how much we, uh, we talk..! And how much I just... _enjoy_ your company," She smiled, trying to hide her tightly clenched jaw.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on right now," Jungeun began with a confused tone but an expressionless face. "But maybe you should get some sleep, Jinsoul. You seem... weird."

"Weird?" Jinsoul forced a laugh out of her stomach. "No, no! Just very, _very_... happy..."

Jungeun said nothing to that, instead choosing to move onto a new subject. "So your ankle's feeling better?"

Normally, having conversations with Jungeun would cause a fire to burn in the pit of her stomach, and she'd have to fight the urge to throw up. This time she fought the urge to vomit because of how her nerves seemed to be continuously knotting and twisting from anxiety, causing her to clench her fists until her knuckles grew pale. She knew Sooyoung's stare was burning into the side of her skull, choosing to painfully ignore it as she gulped. This must have been the longest time she's ever held eye contact with Jungeun.

"Mhm," Jinsoul barely hummed, too afraid to speak anymore. She pursed her lips into a thin line, hoping the end of the conversation was nearing.

"That's good," Jungeun smiled, nodding. "You're so much lighter than I expected!"

"Wait-" Sooyoung tried to interrupt, but Jinsoul forced her voice over her's.

"Yeah," Jinsoul laughed incredibly awkwardly. "I guess. You're just pretty strong, I thought."

Jungeun felt her face flush at the compliment. "O-oh."

"Stop!" Sooyoung nearly shouted. "What's going on here..? And Jinsoul, why did you-?"

"Thanks, Jungeun, but we're gonna have to go. I'll see you around," Jinsoul smiled as she pulled a reluctant Sooyoung to continue walking down the sidewalk until they got to their dorm. The second they stepped inside, the tension thickened instantly. Sooyoung went to put the pancake mix away into the cabinet and set her smoothie on the counter, stepping back into the living room.

Sooyoung turned to face Jinsoul, staring at her for what felt like eternity. "What... What the fuck was that?!" She yelled, mostly confused.

"Well, actually," Jinsoul laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck to distract herself. "It's kind of a long story, you know? Sometimes, I think we say things we don't... Don't really mean. To... protect one another. Yeah? And, uh, I didn't, y'know, _intentionally_ lie a little bit, it just, hah... uh... happens. You get it, right?" Sooyoung just stared at her blankly.

"I really wish I could say yes," Sooyoung laughed with a little less life than usual. "You... you did that... to _protect_ me? From _what_?"

"You're not mad at me?" Jinsoul ignored Sooyoung's question, instead asking her own, to which Sooyoung nodded. Jinsoul let out a sigh of relief, continuing. "I don't know what happened. I can't tell you because I don't know. I just did what felt right. I'm sure she liked you anyways."

Sooyoung's eyes lit up at that, and Jinsoul smiled seeing that. "Y-you really think so?" Sooyoung stuttered, pushing hair behind her ears, tripping over her own words at the thought. Jungeun was so beautiful. This couldn't have been the same Jungeun that Jinsoul was talking about, right? She didn't seem annoying... she seemed so nice... so pleasant...

"Yeah," Jinsoul affirmed, speaking slowly. "She smiled so brightly at you... And you looked like you really liked her, too." The way Jinsoul spoke sounded almost distant, reminiscent in the memories with an unknown emotion.

"I mean..." Sooyoung blushed. "I kind of... kinda thought she was a little pretty..." Sooyoung tried to hide her smile, biting the inside of her cheeks. Contrary, Jinsoul fought the frown that threatened to downcast the mood that was supposed to be happy.

Sooyoung was getting a crush! Of course Jinsoul had to be there for her! It doesn't matter how Jinsoul feels towards her if it's not mutual, because nonetheless they're still friends and she should still support Sooyoung.

With that thought, Jinsoul looked Sooyoung in the eye, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Do you... want me to set you two up with a date?" The words felt wrong sliding off of her tongue, but she tried to smile to convince Sooyoung that this was what she wanted for her. She always wanted the best for Sooyoung. Always wanted her to be happy. But for some reason it felt so wrong to stand there and say that.

Yet when she saw how Sooyoung's face looked instantly brighter, she knew it was the right thing. As if she were about to slip out of her hands, Jinsoul tightened her grip upon Sooyoung's shoulder, just enough to feel a light squeeze. She grinned, pretending to be excited. Her grin was shaky and unsure, even Sooyoung could notice. And that's when Sooyoung's face dimmed, frowning slightly as she looked at Jinsoul's almost painfully happy expression.

"You like Jungeun, don't you?" Sooyoung whispered, not letting her eyes leave Jinsoul's.

"No," Jinsoul whispered back while shaking her head, voice even quieter than Sooyoung's hushed one. Unknowingly, she brought her other hand up to Sooyoung's free shoulder, so afraid to let her slip through her fingers. Afraid to see her in another girl's arms.

Sooyoung nodded, "Okay. I believe you. Then... you must have a crush too."

"Huh?" Jinsoul's voice raised before Sooyoung spoke again.

"You're sad because... you're gonna be lonely. You like somebody too..." Sooyoung smiled knowingly. "Come on, you can tell me!"

Jinsoul sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes that stung with tears that she held behind her eyes. She didn't want to speak. She didn't want to lie. Not again.

"Hey! I'm your best friend, aren't I? You can trust me! I won't go telling everybody!" Sooyoung pushed.

"No," The word was almost mouthed, so quiet you almost couldn't hear it. Jinsoul couldn't bare it- the feeling of lying straight to Sooyoung's face once again.

"Just tell me if you like someone or not. You don't have to tell me who," Sooyoung bargained.

Jinsoul defeatedly sighed, looking back up at Sooyoung through her blurry eyes. "I do," She said weakly.

"Aww," Sooyoung cooed, rubbing Jinsoul's head. Jinsoul loved her touch, even if it was gone just as quick as it came. "So you do! Promise you, I won't tell a soul," She giggled.

Jinsoul bit her lip. She never knew how much this would hurt.

"When can you talk to Jungeun? You know... to set up a date?" Sooyoung questioned.

It was the last thing Jinsoul wanted to think about. "As soon as I can," Jinsoul promised.

Sooyoung looked straight into Jinsoul's eyes, feeling like something was off. She just didn't know what it was, exactly. They seemed... hurt. She felt bad, she hoped she didn't force her to say anything she didn't want to say... After all, she cared about her.

"Thank you," Sooyoung smiled warmly, genuinely. Jinsoul wished she could smile back. But her face felt far too weak to list her lips to a smile. So instead, she nodded.

She felt frozen, even after Sooyoung left the room. She refused to let her tears get the best of her, so, although reluctant, she immediately put on a jacket and prayed she could find Jungeun again.

Closing the door behind her, she ran down the stairs as fast as she could, stumbling at each turn. Given, a few people did shoot her an odd glare.

Once she was bitten by the twilight wind, pierced with the cold of the night, yet still light enough to not hurt against your skin, she hissed. Wrapping her arms around herself, she began to walk, hoping that maybe Jungeun was always stalking her and would pop out from the bushes at any second. At least then she could convince her to go to her dorm and be warmer. But for now, she walked along the plant life, watching her breath turn into fog in the air.

Jinsoul continued walking, slowly, still scared of falling stupidly as she did yesterday. She recalled being over at Jungeun's apartment once... She squeezed her eyes, trying hard to remember which complex was hers before the thought slipped away. "Shoot," she whispered to herself, feeling herself forget the details of the memory a little more with each passing second. Something about giving Jungeun her sweatshirt after she gave it to her at a party or something..?

_Jinsoul sat, head above the toilet as she kept throwing up. No more drinking that much ever again, she decided. But at the time, with her drunken mind, all she could really process was the disgusting taste in her mouth and warm hand on the small of her back._

_"Jesus Christ, Jinsoul..." Jungeun laughed. "Do you want me to drive you home?"_

_"Mm... nooo..." Jinsoul whined, leaning her head against her forearm._

_Jungeun sighed, picking Jinsoul up by her shoulders, letting Jinsoul lean her weight against her. Jinsoul laughed, eyes glassy as they looked up at Jungeun. Jungeun didn't listen to anything Jinsoul was saying, only thinking about how the hell Jinsoul was going to get home._

_Sighing, she signaled for Jinsoul to hop on her back so that she could carry her outside and call an Uber or something. Once she felt Jinsoul's warm body on her, her legs wrapping around her waist, arms around her neck, she started walking._

_"Where are we going?" Jinsoul questioned into Jungeun's ear, almost sounding sleepy._

_"Are you tired?" Jungeun asked, ignoring Jinsoul's question._

_"Why are you... you even carrying me?" Jinsoul laughed. "Don't you hate me or something?"_

_"What?" Jungeun gasped, halting her steps, eyes bulging. "Huh- when- Where did you even get that idea?!"_

_Jinsoul shrugged. "Dunno. Why else would I be annoyed by you?"_

_Jungeun felt her heart fall silent for a split second. She licked her lips, suddenly feeling as if her mouth were a desert. She pressed her lips into a tight line, thinking a little. "D-do I... annoy you?"_

_Jinsoul stayed silent._

_"Do you... hate me?" Jungeun dared to ask after mustering up the courage._

_She felt Jinsoul shake her head in denial. "Mm-mm. How much did I drink?"_

_Jungeun breathlessly chuckled, "A lot. Stop talking before you say something sober Jinsoul might regret."_

_"Like what?" Jinsoul challenged with a raised eyebrow, as Jungeun continued walking them towards the front door._

_"Like all this time you've enjoyed my company. Or that you actually like me," Jungeun laughed to herself, proceeding to shake her head. "No- even I wouldn't believe that."_

_Jinsoul laughed along, saying nothing. She watched Jungeun open the door, welcoming themselves to the chilly winter air. She hissed at the cold against her skin, biting her lip to suppress a sound expressing her uncomfortableness with the sudden temperature drop. She huddled into Jungeun a little more, wrapping herself around her body tighter and snuggling her head into the junction of Jungeun's shoulder and neck. Jungeun was glad Jinsoul couldn't see the blood that rushed up to her face because of that, making her ears burn hot._

_"Why's it so cold?" Jinsoul whined a complaint._

_Jungeun rolled her eyes. She, too, was feeling attacked by the brutal temperature drop from the hot room full of bodies to the open air of a January night- and to top it off, the fresh layer of snow beneath their feet._

_"Now I know how you feel when I bother you..." Jungeun murmured under her breath. "What can I do about it, Jinsoul?"_

_"Well," Jinsoul started before Jungeun cut her off._

_"It was rhetorical. Don't answer it," Jungeun warned._

_"You can give me your sweatshirt," Jinsoul suggested, continuing despite Jungeun's last remark._

_"W-what?!" Jungeun exclaimed in shock. "No!! I'm cold too!"_

_Jinsoul pouted, "But I'm colder!! More cold!! So cold, I really need your sweatshirt..." Her nose traced down from where it rested on Jungeun's neck to her shoulder, letting her warm breath longer on Jungeun's skin, messing with Jungeun's sanity. "Please?" She asked with a smile._

_Jungeun closed her eyes tight, knowing she was only wearing a t-shirt underneath, not anything to protect her from the cold. Hesitantly, she complied, "Fine."_

_Jinsoul grinned as if she knew Jungeun would give in and hopped off her back, letting Jungeun tug off the warm article of clothing she wore comfortably. Jinsoul giggled when she gave it to her, holding it close to her chest for a second and inhaling its scent._

_"..Why are you smelling my clothes." Jungeun blinked, not sure if she was surprised or not. She really needed to tell Jinsoul about how much of a lightweight she was when she sobered up. She laughed quietly to herself when she thought about how Jinsoul would probably react to that._

_"You smell good," Jinsoul stated simply._

_Jungeun sighed as if she had given up with her. "Alright. Cool. Nice to know."_

_"I meant that in a non-creepy way," Jinsoul added with a cute laugh._

_"Mhm," Jungeun hummed, suppressing a smile. "Look- I'm just gonna call you an Uber. I'll pay. Go home safe, okay?" Jungeun sounded genuinely caring._

_Jinsoul blinked at the tone, feeling something warm inside as she registered Jungeun's concern with a small smile. "Yeah," she agreed._

_"Good," Jungeun replied. "And- Jinsoul- bring the sweatshirt back, would you?"_

_Laughing, Jinsoul nodded. "As long as I remember."_

_Quickly, Jungeun placed a hand on Jinsoul's back, much to Jinsoul's confusion. "My name is on the back of it; it's an old softball team sweatshirt... It's takes a special kind of person to not be able render that."_

_Jinsoul hummed in agreement, knowing she was probably dumb enough to fit Jungeun's standard of a 'special kind of person'._

_Shortly, Jinsoul was alone in a car with some guy in his mid-thirties, somehow finding herself wishing Jungeun was still there- no matter how annoying she might've been; even now as Jinsoul began to sober up just a little. Small talk was annoying and yet here she was ranting to this stranger about the girl who gave her her sweatshirt._

_"Y'know... there's this... this girl I know, girl from college. She's my age- well- a few years younger I guess but-"_

_"Are you drunk?" His voice cut through hers._

_"Will you let me talk?" Jinsoul stared blankly at him. "Your job is to drive and listen to my drunken rants so continue doing that. Anyway- where was I? Oh- so, tonight I was at this party... not really anything special... not a good party either... but..? I'm not sure how but I ended up outside with her and I just... It's cold out."_

_"Uh-huh," The driver mumbled uninterestedly._

_"So... I did the most logical, obvious thing to do. Ask for her sweatshirt! And... I don't know. She asked me to return it... but it feels so warm, you know... I kind of- well- get very annoyed by her when I'm sober, though," Jinsoul laughed awkwardly. "Also, this smells kinda good."_

_"Alright, kid, that it?" He sighed, not caring for her endless rambling._

_"I guess. Just wanted to speak," Jinsoul answered, shrugging._

_"Hm. Seems to me like you might like her more than you lead on, then. That or her perfume smells really good."_

_"What!? No! I'm not interested in her like that... No way. Smell this," she suggested, putting her sleeve up to the driver's nose._

_"Eh," he said nonchalantly._

_"Whatever," Jinsoul groaned, giving up with him, rolling her eyes. "Drop me off here. Did I pay you yet?"_

_"Yeah, that little friend of yours did."_

_"Alright. Thanks."_

_And with that, Jinsoul walked up to her complex, fidgeting with the hem of the sweatshirt Jungeun gave her. She couldn't stop thinking about that dumb thing that man said, how crazy he is for thinking she possibly likes Jungeun._

_"He's insane," she laughed to herself as she knocked on the door to her dorm, shaking her head. She couldn't possibly like Jungeun if her light, her hope, her energy- her everything stood on the inside of that door. Even her footsteps sounded pretty as she walked up to the door to swing it wide open, smiling warmly at the girl who she knew it would be._

_"Jinsoul~" Sooyoung sweetly singsonged. "My Jinsoul is home~"_

_Jinsoul couldn't stop her smile that invaded her face quickly like wildfire at the cute jingle emitted from the cutest person. She stretched her hand out towards Sooyoung, silently asking for her to take it and lead her inside; to which Sooyoung understood without even a thought, closing the door behind them._

_"How was the party?" Sooyoung inquired, walking into the kitchen after settling Jinsoul on the couch to watch the episode of some game show that played on the television. Jinsoul almost chuckled; Sooyoung always loved watching those stupid game shows. She looked over to Sooyoung, moving gracefully even in the simplest of situations, getting something from the cabinet. She wondered if Jungeun was eating too by now- if she looked so naturally ethereal in every situation like Sooyoung did._

_Jinsoul shrugged, despite Sooyoung not even glancing at her in the slightest. "It was okay... Still feel kinda sick. Kinda drunk."_

_Sooyoung chuckled as she nodded understandingly, "I expected that. I was just making tacos anyway. You can have some. They're a good drunk food- right?"_

_"Not sure. Probably," Jinsoul replied._

_Sooyoung silently continued as Jinsoul watched the game show, no matter how boring it seemed, as she waited longingly for Sooyoung to return with the food._

_She stared at the screen, which seemed to turn into a fuzz of nothingness as her eyes unfocused, relishing in her mind instead. She smiled to herself as she remembered Jungeun's endearing hesitance to give it to her. She looked kind of good in a tee- but, of course, that wasn't something Jinsoul would be saying out loud. Something sober Jinsoul wouldn't even think. God, she really needed to eat before her mind wandered deeper into these damned thoughts..._

_A plate clinked onto the table before her, courtesy of a smiley Sooyoung, seating herself beside Jinsoul. "Take as many as you want, then you can just go to bed. You need rest," Sooyoung insisted, taking a taco and chomping into it._

_Following Sooyoung, Jinsoul reached out for the food and ate two tacos in silence before deciding it was best to leave. She said nothing before dragging herself groggily towards her room and falling onto her bed. She sighed happily into her pillow as her eyelids fell instantly, almost feeling Jungeun's presence- which, oddly... felt almost comforting, felt calm. Simultaneously, it felt awkward and somewhat unwanted._

_The door creaked slightly open, Sooyoung peering in to look at what Jinsoul had left her for. She smiled, thoughtfully not turning on the light so Jinsoul didn't jump at the sudden brightness. She sat at the edge of the bed, bringing her hand up to rest against Jinsoul's arm._

_"You going to sleep?" Sooyoung whispered sweetly. Jinsoul's stomach fluttered at her voice._

_"Mm," Jinsoul hummed back in response with a slight nod. She basked in Sooyoung's gentle touch, her soft chuckle, and- as she opened her eyes to look at her- her caring eyes._

_"How drunk are you?" Sooyoung questioned carefully._

_Jinsoul shrugged, thinking a bit. "Drunk enough to not remember this properly tomorrow," she responded._

_Sooyoung laughed quietly before slowly leaning down to be face to face with Jinsoul, staring into her eyes. Jinsoul was her best friend. That was a given; no other bond mattered more than the one she shared with Jinsoul. But there was always this curiosity pooling in her stomach, always this thought slipping into her mind. She knew the most beautiful things came unexpectedly, that curiosity, too, needed its admiration, for it is where each idea began. And as the gardens grew greener in her chest, flowers of reds and blues and violets springing into life, she asked herself more and more who her heart would be beating for, who she could grow gardens for, move mountains for, cross oceans and live and die for. Somehow, there was such an odd, such a tempting thought lingering in the back of her mind, begging for the answer and the relief of its question, Sooyoung just had to know; maybe the one for her has been in front of her the whole time._

_Jinsoul's heart began to beat incredulously at the closeness of Sooyoung, ready to jump out of her chest at any moment. Jinsoul inhaled sharply, breathing in the thick air that spun around them. A tension so fragile yet so unbreakable, a fire burning in her chest so warm yet so frightful. Was this actually going to happen? Jinsoul's thoughts ran faster than her heartbeat, inquiries entering in and out of her mind like bubbles being blown and popped. Would this ruin their friendship? What would... What would Jinsoul do without Sooyoung?_

_Sooyoung breathed heavily, nervously, afraid of scaring Jinsoul away from her forever. She would so much rather stay friends with Jinsoul forever and have these invasive questions in her mind than ruining the best thing she's ever had; their friendship. Sighing, Sooyoung couldn't help herself from moving just an inch closer, feeling Jinsoul's lips just barely graze her own, mind beginning to spin dizzily. She could feel Jinsoul's hot breath on her skin, and she didn't doubt that it was the same case for her with Sooyoung. Her mouth felt dry, lips felt chapped, begging to just close the almost nonexistent space that remained between them. She closed her eyes in unsure thought, considering just pulling away completely and hoping Jinsoul never remembered this. She was so clueless, felt so dumb and clueless when battling her mind._

_"Sooyoung?" Jinsoul whispered, her voice just barely there. Sooyoung opened her eyes, looking back at Jinsoul's eyes that still gleamed even in a room with no light. She gave the smallest nod in acknowledgement, giving Jinsoul a silent cue to continue. "Kiss me."_

_Even Jinsoul was shocked at her own words, but more so when Sooyoung didn't waste a single second after being advised of Jinsoul's want. It was a fleeting kiss, only lasting as long as it took for Jinsoul to register that she should kiss back, Sooyoung pulling away before she could. Jinsoul's lips tingled delightfully, each corner lifting into a smile. Her heart beat impossibly faster, finding herself never wanting what had already stopped to end._

_"I love you," Jinsoul confessed quietly, staring into Sooyoung's eyes with so much truth that it hurt. She didn't even have to try and convey that she was being honest, Sooyoung already knew that those words were truthful. She widened her eyes at the unexpected words, not knowing what to do with them. She opened her mouth to speak, but it seemed everything was trapped in her throat; but it wasn't like she was going to say anything Jinsoul wanted to hear anyway. She felt so terrible, knowing she'd be hurting Jinsoul infinitely once she left the room. But... she didn't know if this was what her heart wants. She didn't know if her heart beat fast due to the pressure of the confession or the feelings of the kiss that now lingered tensely in the air. But then she remembered; Jinsoul was drunk. She could just be saying anything. There was literally no possible way she loved her, Sooyoung was silly for even thinking that._

_Sooyoung didn't know what to do next, didn't know if her needs were satisfied or unfulfilled. Without a second thought, she moved up from the bed, looking down at Jinsoul before walking towards the door._

_"Good night, Jinsoul," she whispered with a smile that could sprout a thousand emotions into Jinsoul's poor heart, feeling impaled by all the sudden feeling that beat so quickly within her chest. She stared up at the ceiling, with tears forming in her eyes as she realized this would never happen again. That what had just taken place was pure curiosity, any feelings being unpresent from Sooyoung and one-sided from Jinsoul. She gripped onto her shirt in frustration, remembering afterwards the sweatshirt that Jungeun had given her._

_For sure, she'd hate herself the next morning._

_And for sure, she'd hate herself even more when she had to return it to Jungeun._

\---

Jinsoul could never remember how she got the sweatshirt or how she even got home that night, yet she didn't exactly care, either. She groaned as she remembered meeting Jungeun awkwardly at her dorm the next morning, having to cross her arms across her chest to prevent forcefully punching herself in the face. The night only seemed to grow colder as her feet reluctantly brought her to the complex she believed Jungeun lived in. She wanted nothing more than to bash her head against the wall she stepped closer and closer to if it caused the cancellation of confrontation between her and Jungeun at her dorm- _again_.

She wanted to groan in disgust the second she walked through the same doors Jungeun would walk through to enter the building, some kind of frustrating annoyance building angrily in Jinsoul's stomach. She walked up to the man behind the desk, knowing her eyes were dead with no emotion other than pure disgust and hatred as she placed her hands on the table.

"Where does Kim Jungeun live?" Jinsoul asked, getting straight to the point.

"Uh, well- who a-are you?" He tripped over his words, feeling the annoyance that radiated off of Jinsoul.

"Jinsoul. Jung Jinsoul. Where's Jungeun."

"Second floor, room 127..." He answered quietly after looking the student up on his laptop.

Jinsoul nodded, forgetting to thank him before she walked off to the stair case. Of course, there was an elevator, but if it meant elongating the time she didn't have to face Jungeun, then she'd go up each step at an agonizingly slow pace, thankful that no one was behind her on the stairs to yell at her for being a fucking snail.

And even after passing each stair, Jinsoul felt like she hadn't walked slow enough, staring down at the hallway in front of her. She desperately clung onto the hope that Jungeun was not, in fact, in her dorm at this very moment. Dragging her feet down the hall, she twisted her head from one side to the other to look for 127. She took in a large breath of air as she prepared herself for what would take place.

She really was about to set up a date between the person she loves and the one she wished would leave her alone, wasn't she?

It's for Sooyoung, she reminded herself. For Sooyoung. She didn't hate Jungeun, but fucking hell, she hated doing this. It was the last thing she ever thought she'd be doing. She clenched her fists tightly in anger as she passed room 126, bracing herself for the next one. Jungeun didn't even love Sooyoung! Jungeun didn't deserve this chance. But... but Sooyoung did. Sooyoung carried a genuine interest in her- even if they only met today- and not for Jinsoul. She couldn't stop that. Couldn't manipulate Sooyoung's emotions, even if she wanted to. And so badly, did she want to. But if Sooyoung were to ever like her, she'd want it not to be out of force, but out of the same interest she had for Jungeun. Jinsoul wanted to scream and cry as she stood in front of the three numbers that seemed to mock her, but she knew she always wanted the best for Sooyoung. Even if it meant setting her up with Jungeun.

She looked down at her feet, unsure about how she was going to do this. She held her breath, fist raising slowly closer and closer towards the door separating her and Jungeun. She peeled her eyes from looking at the ground, despite all her reluctance and entire body saying no, and forced her eyes forward as her knuckles came down forcefully upon the wooden door.

There was a moment of silence, and before Jinsoul could knock again, she heard footsteps coming closer to the door. She fought away the awkward frown with all her might, seconds seeming like they couldn't pass slower as Jungeun walked closer to the door. Jinsoul's nails dug into her palms, using the last bit of decency in her to smile at Jungeun as the door opened slowly in front of her.

"Huh? Jinsoul?" Jungeun sounded taken aback, questions raising at the odd presence. "What are you-"

"Listen- Sooyoung, the girl you met today... the girl I was with- she kind of liked you. Well- I mean, she wants to get to know you. And, um, she wanted to know..." Jinsoul gulped, swallowing her pride, voice softening. "If you wanted to meet her tomorrow... for... lunch."

Jungeun looked almost as surprised as she did when she noticed Jinsoul's presence at her dorm. "Well, uh, yeah, I guess that can be arranged, but-"

"Cool. I'm not here for small talk," Jinsoul informed as she crossed her arms. "Give me your phone, I'll give you her number."

"What?" Jungeun yelped. "No! I'll get her number tomorrow if I want it!"

Jinsoul raised an eyebrow. "Don't you want to plan anything? You don't even know where you're going. Not that I care or anything."

"You sound like you care more than you let on," Jungeun noted. "Come in." She moved aside for Jinsoul to step in, and, hating every ounce of her being, Jinsoul complied.

She stood in the center of the room, not bothering to sit on a chair or couch or anything. Sliding her hands into her pockets, Jinsoul asked, "Why am I in here?"

"Well-" Jungeun thought for a second. "Tell Sooyoung I'll meet her outside her dorm tomorrow."

Jinsoul bit back a scowl, smiling through the spiraling feeling in her stomach. She nodded in response, knowing that if she opened her mouth, she might throw up.

Jungeun noticed this, tilting her head in confusion. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jinsoul grumbled.

"But Jinsoul," Jungeun started. "If I do go on this date... What do I get in turn?"

Jinsoul looked at her incredulously. "Gee I don't know. Maybe a fucking date with a nice, pretty girl."

Jungeun shrugged. "Don't care. If I go out with your friend... I ask for one thing in return."

Jinsoul rolled her eyes, sighing, "What?"

"Simple; be my partner in the computer science project..?" Jungeun said, her attempts to sound smug fading to incoherency, reducing her sentence to less of a deal and more of a question.

Jinsoul froze, eyes widening like she didn't believe Jungeun. But, of course, if she really wanted Sooyoung happy... She'd couldn't decline. Taking a big breath, she nodded. "Alright. Whatever."

Jungeun bit back the happy grin, but it still appeared so obviously across her face. "Okay, you can go now," she permitted as she opened the door.

Jinsoul looked up at Jungeun again, not wanting to leave without laying out some ground rules. "Wait," she insisted, causing Jungeun to shut the door. "Just you know, if you _dare_ hurt Sooyoung in any way, I will not hesitate to fuck you up for a damn second."

Jungeun nodded acceptingly, eyes wide and innocent under Jinsoul's gaze. Her hand twitches on the doorknob, but didn't make a move to open it yet. "Y'know," Jungeun began. "You say you hate my company, and yet you keep finding your way back to me."

"I'm going to advise you to shut up now," Jinsoul warned.

Jungeun laughed, "Sorry." She opened the door wide for Jinsoul to exit, waving to her as she walked out. And much to her suspicions, Jinsoul waved back. She closed the door and smiled, shaking her head. She was infinitely happy to be Jinsoul's partner, maybe it even overshadowed the nervousness that came with it. It's so simple, she shouldn't even be so excited. But she never really thought she'd get this chance- even if Jinsoul didn't consider it a _chance_. Even if it meant dating Jinsoul's best friend, to whom she had no feelings for.

She giggled delightfully, singing some song she heard in a cafe today as she walked with a newfound bounce in her step to her bedroom.

She didn't know how glad she should be that Jinsoul even said yes and didn't slap her right then and there. Jinsoul walked as fast as she could down the stairs and towards the door as she could, cursing under her breath as she pushed the door open to be met with not only the freezing cold, not only the barely seeable sky, but the fucking steady drops of rain that promised to turn into a downpour if Jinsoul didn't hurry the fuck up and get to her room.

"Literally I fucking hate my life," she muttered into her hands that she covered her face with, shaking her head. She advanced away from the building slowly, listening to her footsteps on the ground as she walked to the sidewalk, which, luckily enough, had yet to form puddles on it. Eyebrows scrunched together in anger, she tucked her hands into her pockets as she broke off into a sprint, glad no one else was around to watch her run away from the weather like a weirdo. Her eyes her glued to the ground, making sure there was nothing in her path preventing her from a safe trip home.

Her chest heaved, legs sore as her pace reduced to a jog, rain hitting her skin each second, hair dampening. She scoffed, rolling her eyes at her misfortune. She was sure this was mother earth's way of telling her she fucked up.

Why'd she even accept Jungeun's dumb deal... Why didn't she just fucking ask Sooyoung on a date herself? She could make her ten times happier than Jungeun ever could. And Jinsoul was probably better in other ways too. Jungeun was probably a sad virgin who got about as much girls as a sweaty old guy in a bar. She clenched her fists around the fabric inside her pockets, muttering a jumble of swears at both losing Sooyoung to fucking _Jungeun_ , the damned weather, and the clothes that began to dampen and cling onto her body uncomfortably.

She didn't even want to think of the upcoming project she'd have to do with Jungeun.

She got out her keys, leaving a puddle where she stood without sorrow from the harsh weather outside, glad she was back in the comforts of a warm building. Opening the door, she couldn't even force a smile as she looked at Sooyoung, who was eating chips on the couch.

"Why don't you have the TV on?" Jinsoul asked as she took off her jacket, letting it plop onto the floor loudly, weighed down by its dampness.

Sooyoung looked over at Jinsoul, gasping as she saw her miserable face and soaked clothes. "Jesus fucking Christ, Jinsoul. Could've brought an umbrella," she joked.

Jinsoul laughed, "Nice way to say thanks after I got you a date with Jungeun." She felt her harsh mood almost being lifted as she watched an excited grin grow onto Sooyoung's face.

"Oh! I knew you would do it, oh my god!" She exclaimed happily as she ran towards Jinsoul to hug her tightly. "You're not kidding, right?"

"No way," Jinsoul assured. Her arms found Sooyoung's waist as mixed emotions clashed throughout her body like ocean waves upon the shore. She was glad she made Sooyoung happy. Nothing else should have mattered. But it did. Something else really did matter.

Her heart didn't know whether it was upset or happy, but she closed her eyes and forced herself to smile. For Sooyoung. It's all for Sooyoung, she had to remember. She pulled away, unable to stay in Sooyoung's embrace much longer, stomach tightening with emotions she chose to ignore. She held onto Sooyoung's shoulders, her smile turning sad as she stared into Sooyoung's happy eyes. God damnit, why couldn't she be happy for her?

"Thank you," Sooyoung whispered, nodding. "I love you lots."

Jinsoul's smile only seemed to get sadder. "I love you too."

Perhaps she said it with more emotion than Sooyoung had. But it didn't matter.

And throughout Sooyoung's beaming ecstasy, she couldn't even detect Jinsoul's differed emotions like she normally could.

"We've spent such a long time together," Jinsoul said, gripping onto Sooyoung a little tighter, fighting her gut to let her eyes remain focused and not blurred. "You won't ever forget about me if you start dating, right?" Jinsoul knew Sooyoung wouldn't. She just needed to hear her say it.

"Of course not," she giggled. "You'll always be the one in my heart! No one will ever replace you!"

Her words comforted Jinsoul and saddened her at the same time. And to that, she nodded. "I'm going to change... Sorry for getting your clothes wet, by the way," Jinsoul apologized, looking at Sooyoung's clothes, which had dampened spots from their hug.

"It's literally fine, I can't get myself to care. I'm just so happy!" Sooyoung squealed, spinning around with joy. Jinsoul's laugh was void of emotion, but before any suspicion could be raised, she was off to her room, locking the door behind her- which she had never done before. She always welcomed Sooyoung into her room. She knew Sooyoung wasn't going to follow her anyways, but just in case.

Anger replaced sadness with a newfound frustration, peeling her clothes off her body as she blinked her eyes to keep them without tears. Jinsoul threw on a baggy shirt that probably wasn't even hers and sat on the bed, gripping her sheets tightly. She kept herself from shouting angrily, despite each nerve in her body reaching its peaked stress and madness. She sighed through her nose, closing her eyes softly as her hand felt under her pillow, reaching for her journal.

Okay- yeah, maybe keeping a journal _was_ stupid, but it's better than bottling her emotions up inside. Right?

She took her pen and uncapped it with her mouth, other hand busy flipping to the next free page. She placed the cap next to her as she gripped her pen with an angered force, words unable to flow from her mind to the paper like they normally do. She never really used her journal anymore- mostly just ranted to Sooyoung instead- but she had it since the year she graduated high school, when she still lived with her parents. She had no one to talk to in her house besides the house cat, but that seemed kind of pathetic. So, with the money she got from working at some local grocery store, she bought herself a journal.

She put her pen down onto her mattress and flipped through her first pages, reminiscing the times when her biggest problems were crushing on straight girls and not having enough money for shit she wanted. She could almost forget about her current problems as she read her silly paragraphs of petty frustration that younger Jinsoul battled on what seemed like a daily basis.

She sighed, knowing she couldn't stay mad at Sooyoung for not liking her and turning this into another useless journal rant. She closed her journal and put her pen on her nightstand, turning off her lamp as she slouched down onto her pillows.

And while she might not have been able to smile, deep inside her heart, she was happy. Happy to be the cause of why Sooyoung would be happy.

And maybe that's all that mattered.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: homophobia

Jinsoul was really starting to regret majoring in computer science. More so, she regretted not taking up college a few years earlier, because now, she was stuck in a class full of people a couple years younger than her. But she couldn't deny that once she graduated she could get a good nerd job and bathe in her money. And the word itself, _graduation_ , seemed so sweet— she couldn't wait until the year was over and freedom greeted her with open arms.

She tapped her pen on the table as she waited for the professor to enter the classroom, ignoring her phone as it vibrated once, twice, continuing. She was surprised Jungeun hasn't arrived yet— she assumed that she'd be so excited to work with Jinsoul finally, especially after practically begging to be partnered with her forever. She sighed heavily, pulling her phone out of her pocket after she got tired of its endless vibrating. Thank god for Sooyoung and whatever magic she has, to be able to fix Jinsoul's hopeless phone.

_Sooyoung: is jungeun still up for today_

_Sooyoung: jinsooooooul_

_Sooyoung: please answer :(_

_Sooyoung: KSJJSKSJSHS_

_Sooyoung: SKHSHSHSJSHAJ_

_Sooyoung: not stopping until u answer_

_Sooyoung: JSJSJSJSJJSJHDD_

_Sooyoung: brat_

_Sooyoung: !!!_

Jinsoul bit back her smile, seeing Sooyoung's urgency to text her. She barely noticed when Jungeun sat in the seat next to her and cheerfully greeted.

"Hi~ Jinsoul!" Jungeun singsonged. Jinsoul could only hum in response, busting herself with the girl who claimed her affection.

_Jinsoul: says you_

_Jinsoul: you calling me a brat while you're spamming me for not answering your texts_

_Sooyoung: so you were purposely ignoring me huh_

_Sooyoung: n e way_

_Sooyoung: is jungeun there?_

Jinsoul had to fight her gut. She had to kick away the awful urge to tell her that no, she isn't there, and she won't be having lunch with her today, either. That wasn't who she wanted to be, and it wasn't who she was. She wanted Sooyoung happy, right? So first she'd have to disregard these stupid feelings and introduce Sooyoung to her potential match.

"Who you texting?" Jungeun questioned, trying to look over Jinsoul's shoulder.

_Jinsoul: sorry_

_Jinsoul: brb*_

"No one," Jinsoul answered, locking her phone and slamming it face-down onto the surface of the table.

Jungeun nodded, turning her head to look forwards where she hoped the professor was and then down at her fingers, both hands interlocked as she fidgeted her thumbs. The classroom was eerily silent. She wondered if everyone could hear the way her thumbs would hit each other. Or maybe they could hear her thoughts. _If you're reading my mind, hello._

Jungeun waited until a few students started chatting up again to speak. She cleared her throat, "So, you ready for the project?"

Jinsoul didn't even lift her head to look up at her. "Uuuuh-huh," she dragged out the vowel, looking at her nails that really needed a manicure. If only she could actually afford one. Maybe Sooyoung could set up a manicure date for them.

No, Sooyoung should do that with Jungeun. They're dating. It would never be Jinsoul and Sooyoung, but no matter how much Jinsoul told herself that, she couldn't stop hoping for it. Yearning for it.

"You okay? You look... sad," Jungeun commented, frown on her face.

Well, they're not _really_ dating, though. They're just... trying it out for today. _Later_ today. So not now. And they're not together now, maybe that's something. And, plus, they've only really met _once_ , and exchanged, what, five words? Ten at most. They barely know each other. Jungeun doesn't know Sooyoung like Jinsoul knows Sooyoung. She doesn't know how she had to quit art class halfway through the semester because some sophomore she happened to dislike sat right beside her and spilt paint on her clothes everyday.

"Fine," Jinsoul assured. "I'm good."

Jungeun doesn't know how Sooyoung thinks teal is an ugly color because her mom dyed her hair teal when she was a kid. And yeah, she totally, utterly hated it. Jinsoul always has to bite her cheeks to hold in a burst of laughter at that memory, when she first told her the story. How she still looks so disgusted every time she mentions the horrid hairstyle. Jungeun didn't know anything about Sooyoung. If only Sooyoung could see.

But that would change later today. Sooyoung will giddily tell Jungeun everything about her. All her childhood memories and stories of what she and Jinsoul would do together. How Jinsoul was her best friend.

Jinsoul sighed. She never knew she could hate a label like 'best friend' so much.

"Listen. I don't _have_ to be your partner if you're this uncomfortable. I was-" Jungeun started, but Jinsoul cut her off.

"I want to be." Jinsoul looked up at Jungeun, looking her in the eye. She frowned before she could stop herself, knowing the way Sooyoung would be falling for the twinkles in Jungeun's eyes when Jinsoul said that. "Sooyoung thinks you're pretty great, you know."

Jungeun's smile faltered momentarily. "Yeah."

Jinsoul chuckled despite herself. She was handing away her love to another. "She... she talked a lot about you. Last night."

"Can we stop talking about— her?" Jungeun lifted her voice in mild aggravation.

Jinsoul looked surprised for a second before masking it with a quick nod. "Okay."

The professor walked in immediately after that, sitting at her desk and fixing her blazer. Jinsoul let her head rest in her hand, staring blankly at the professor as she explained the basics of the project.

"The assigned project is starting today," she announced, voice loud and hands clasped together on her desk. "If you need a reminder, the project will be about the importance of computer science in an everyday scenario. Science is beautiful and it is everywhere, and I'm asking you guys to experiment how much different your life would be when you are taken-"

Her voice faded out of Jinsoul's ears, her eyes blurring as she zoned out, focusing only on the thoughts running through her head. She wondered if Jungeun was listening, because that would be her last hope in terms of knowing what to do for the project. The class has barely started and it's already been the slowest one yet.

"Of course, you will be paired up with partners of your choosing, of which I assume you've already chosen. Together, you will tackle the life without computer science, and, although not completely avoidable in few scenarios, see which partner is more capable of life without digital technology as we know it today."

Jungeun leaned closer to Jinsoul. "You heard that?"

Jinsoul shook her head in denial.

Jungeun hesitated a moment as the teacher continued, "Yes, students. In this experiment we will be determining exactly how dependent we are on computer science. Once finished, I expect you all to write an essay individually comparing your experience with your partner's, listing the ways computer science affects the modern generation of humanity, and describing the differences between life with and without your devices. During this month-long time period, you and your partner must ensure that one another doesn't use anything connecting them to the virtual world. To do so, I expect each duo to stay by the other's side throughout the time being, to keep track of what they do versus what you do and to make sure neither one of you uses advanced technology."

Jinsoul gulped. Did this mean..?

"You will be giving your phones to me until the month ends," the teacher declared. Jinsoul could _hear_ the way every student rolled their eyes.

"This doesn't even relate to computer science," one kid tested.

"You will be seeing how important computer science is," the professor argued. "It is beneficial to acknowledge the importance of a subject you're studying."

"How do we study computer science if we can't use it?"

"Enough with the questions." The teacher cleared her throat. "Discuss with your partner your hypothesis of how the month will go." At that, the classroom went from silent to loud with chatter and mostly complaints of how stupid this project is.

Jungeun pulled out her notebook. "I'll start writing as soon as you start talking."

Jinsoul groaned. Why did she have to do this? "I dunno... Life will suck??? A lot?? I don't want to do this, like, at all. So..."

"I can't write any of that down because none of that is formally worded. Try again," Jungeun informed.

"Ugh. You're smarter than me. Do it yourself."

Jungeun let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "Fine." She put her pencil to the paper and her hand flew across the page, words flowing freely from her mind to her notebook. Jinsoul can't even look, she's too busy mourning the loss of her life once withdrawn from the only thing that made it good. Besides Sooyoung.

But perhaps Sooyoung would be gone now, too.

It was time for class to end now, time to finally face the two worst things that could possibly happen in Jinsoul's sad, sorrowful life— one, knowing Sooyoung and Jungeun will be one hour away from going on a date, and two, having to spend the next month by Jungeun's side.

"I'm feeling like I'll be better at this challenge thing than you," Jungeun began. "You couldn't even stop looking at your phone in the beginning of class."

Jinsoul couldn't even respond. But even if she could, she wouldn't anyway. She left her chair abruptly and walked quickly down to the professor. Her phone held tight in her grip.

"Your phone," the professor beckoned with a motion of her open hand.

Jinsoul nodded, a reluctant hand inching its way towards her hand. She was really just handing away her freedom. She wanted to cry when she felt her phone slip from her hands, entering the hands of her teacher.

"Thank you. I hope you have a nice day, Jinsoul," she was surprised when her phone buzzed suddenly in her hand.

_Sooyoung: plz come to the dorm!!!!_

"Does she know you have class?"

"Uhh, I— I," Jinsoul stammered. 

_Sooyoung: now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"Really gotta go, bye!" Jinsoul rushed through her speech and ran out the classroom doors, concerned about Sooyoung. Is she hurt? Maybe she needs help? What the hell happened to her?!

It was an eternity until she made it to her dorm room, knocking breathlessly on the door. Sooyoung pulled the door open immediately, revealing herself in a pretty dress that would have made Jinsoul's nose bleed if she was some anime boy. It wasn't revealing at all and was pretty modest, but of course Sooyoung could still wear it better than any a-ranked model. Loose at all parts except the waist, a color one tone darker than that of her skin, stopping a bit above the knee.

"Do you think Jungeun would like me in this???" Sooyoung asked, eyes wide and questioning.

"She'd be crazy not to," Jinsoul answered, stepping inside the room. "Is this what you've been doing all day instead of going to class? Planning your outfit?"

"Yes!! I have to look good!"

"You always look good," Jinsoul commented.

"Better than always," Sooyoung said.

"Trust me, Sooyoung," Jinsoul began. "I'm sure she'll love you in _anything_. You're like, really good looking."

"Wow, you really know how to make a girl's heart flutter," Sooyoung laughed. Jinsoul's smile widened at the compliment. Was it even a compliment? She's  probably just overanalyzing it. But— wait— did Sooyoung say Jinsoul made her heart flutter? "But seriously, Jinsoul. You know Jungeun better than me! Tell me her type."

Jinsoul blinked once to get back to reality and didn't think for more than a second about the question behind Sooyoung's words. "I can let you look through my closet if you want," was Jinsoul's way of telling Sooyoung and still not telling Sooyoung that Jinsoul herself could be seen as Jungeun's type. "But I really think you should wear that. Nothing I have is like that and you look great in it."

Sooyoung smiled down at Jinsoul, thankful for her kind words, knowing she meant the truth, but still worried if it would be inadequate in Jungeun's eyes. "You're one hundred percent sure? Like—" she looked down at her dress and tugged at its hem— "Jungeun will like it?"

Jinsoul nodded. "Why wouldn't she?"

"I dunno?" Sooyoung responded with a laugh as she walked to get her purse.

"You're paying?"

"For what?"

"Lunch," Jinsoul clarified.

"Oh," Sooyoung said. "Yeah, I mean.. unless she really wants to."

Jinsoul hummed and nodded. Jungeun seemed more of the butch type. She's probably insist on paying the bill, even if she hated the date and Sooyoung. She wouldn't tell Sooyoung that, though.

Sooyoung's hand was on the doorknob. Jinsoul bit her lip with a feeling that shouldn't be in her stomach bubbling up. She pulled the door open with little force and looked over at Jinsoul once more, her perfect face even prettier when she smiled in the way that reached her eyes. She waved her hand, bracelets clinking against each other, to say goodbye.

"Hold on," Jinsoul quickly spoke, walking over to Sooyoung. She stared into her eyes for a moment that felt like forever. "Tell me how it went when you get back. Alright?" Jinsoul pushed a piece of Sooyoung's hair out of her face.

"I was already planning on it." Sooyoung grinned, and with that, Jinsoul backed out of her way to let Sooyoung wave again and actually leave this time. Jinsoul let out the breath she was holding and let her back collide with the door, eyes focusing on the clock across from her. Sooyoung has plenty of time to go find Jungeun before they go off to get lunch, or whatever.

The house was quiet against Jinsoul's slowing heartbeat, clearing of her worry as a minute passed by, praying that— and oh god, this is such a terrible thing to say, but— Sooyoung would come back home and tell Jinsoul all about how she thought the date was boing and Jungeun really wasn't as great as she thought her out to be. But the chances of that happening was slim. Sooyoung barely knew Jungeun and she already thinks a lot of her, so it would be hard to break that down.

Jinsoul's next class would be starting in ten minutes by now, but she sits on the couch instead, watching some sitcom that the television was already playing when she turned it on. Eyes staring blankly at the screen as she wrapped herself in a thin blanket. Her mind was elsewhere, knowing that Sooyoung should be home soon.

She can already hear the way Sooyoung would gush about their conversations, the way she'll recall the details and smile about it all over again in a way too cutesy to be friendly. She'll talk about how Jungeun is so cool, how conversation is easy with her. How she majors in computer science because her ex-girlfriend introduced her to the world of STEM. Which Jinsoul pretty sure isn't true, because how in hell could Jungeun snatch a girl that smart when she has the aura of a second grader. Time ticks slower than it used to now that she's sure that Sooyoung is seconds away from just opening that goddamn door.

She looks over at the door and stares at it, fidgeting with her fingers as she can feel the way her palms begin to sweat for no good reason. If Sooyoung likes Jungeun, then that's that. It's literally not even a big deal, Jinsoul can get over it _easily_. It's fine. It's okay. Jinsoul can't stop repeating the same words in her head. Maybe one of these times she'll believe it. Her heart's pounding against her chest because _goddamnit_ Sooyoung should've been home thirty minutes ago by now, but any second— any moment, please, for the love of god just let her walk through that door. Any second now. Any second. Please, let it be any second.

The sun is still high in the sky but Jinsoul feels like it's been days since lunch was supposed to end. She stares up at the ceiling, counting how many times the stupid show plays that same laugh track. Twenty-seven by now and it's only been a handful of minutes. Not even that is distracting her, though. She rolls back onto her side and a pout unknowingly finds its way to her lips.

Finally, the sky is dimming and it's clear enough to Jinsoul that at this point it's been however many hours overdue that Sooyoung should have been back by. She sucks in a breath and pushes the blanket off of her, striding to her room and deciding maybe it's better to just fucking sleep. She shouldn't be mad but she is. She isn't mad at Sooyoung and she isn't mad at Jungeun, she herself doesn't know what the hell she's mad at but she's just fucking upset and angry. She throws her clothes into a pile on the floor that she'll pick up tomorrow and changes into a shirt two sizes too big for her. The overplayed laugh track reminds her that she's still yet to shut the television off, and she probably should go and do that after she finishes pulling up her shorts.

She rubs her eyes and walks back towards the couch where she left the remote, pressing her thumb against the power button. She returns it back to its place on the couch and shuts off the light, walking into the kitchen to make herself a snack and then finally go to bed. The only lighting now is the dim yellow light from above the stove, casting the kitchen in a glowing golden. It's less pretty than it sounds. The sun is almost finished setting by now and the entire dorm is silent. She opens the cabinet and grabs the box of tea packets because she can't bother grabbing a snack but can manage pouring water in a tea kettle.

The kettle is already whistling when the front door opens, startling Jinsoul and causing her to emit a hushed yelp. She holds her pounding heart and leans to look to the door, where Sooyoung is already staring at Jinsoul.

"Sorry I took so long," Sooyoung apologized. "I wanna take you somewhere. Make up for it."

Jinsoul's heart skipped a beat, but she played it cool. "I'm making tea though," she whined.

Sooyoung giggled and tugged on the sleeve of Jinsoul's shirt. "Let's go, really~" Sooyoung glowed brighter than any of the stars beginning to appear in the window right behind them.

"Fine," Jinsoul gave in. It was no surprise, they both knew Jinsoul was too soft to say no. "Let me pour this in a bottle then."

Sooyoung waited patiently for her and watched Jinsoul take a metal water bottle out from the fridge and pour it into the sink. The bottle was gifted to Jinsoul from Sooyoung last year, it was a deep blue color that looked almost black beneath the lack of light. She carelessly and quickly poured the water into the bottle once the tea bag was thrown in it, almost forgetting to take it out before she left to take Sooyoung's hand in her free one.

"Don't you need pants? It's kinda chilly," Sooyoung asked.

Jinsoul wanted to slap herself, she should've thought of that. "Be right back."

She threw on sweatpants quicker than she's ever done anything before and ran back to Sooyoung and grasped the bottle of tea sitting on the countertop. 

"Alright," Jinsoul said. "Think I'm ready now."

Sooyoung smiled and tugged Jinsoul with her out of the dorm, towards the elevator. It was quiet except the ding of the button when Sooyoung pressed ground floor. They looked at each other with small smiles and Jinsoul was glad the elevator didn't have great lighting because she blushed when Sooyoung squeezed her hand a little tighter.

When the elevator opened, Jinsoul talked. "Where are we going, anyway?"

Sooyoung's heels clicked with each hurried step as she rushed them out the building and into the chilly air. Cars were just blurry headlights atop the dark background of the night sky now, even though the speed limit is definitely way less than the speed they're going. Their hands swung as they walked on the sidewalk, a lot less of a restless and hurried pace than Sooyoung forced in the building. Few cars were on the road at this time, considering most college students are either asleep or studying right now— or they would be partying, if it wasn't a weekday night.

"You didn't answer my question," Jinsoul reminded.

Sooyoung let out a small laugh. "Forgot," she explained. "Remember the park in the middle of the city? Where we walked around the first day we found out we were gonna be roommates."

Jinsoul bit back a stupidly large smile at the memory. "Yeah."

"There," Sooyoung answered, looking over at Jinsoul.

Sooyoung looked so much better than Jinsoul right now. Still in her gorgeous dress and heels, all made up with whatever makeup she put on that she doesn't really need. Jinsoul stood in her oversized tee and baggy sweatpants next to a real life goddess. She wondered how Sooyoung could still look at her like it didn't matter.

It was quite a walk to the park, a good distance from their living place, especially for Sooyoung to travel in heels. But she didn't complain at all, making Jinsoul lose the internal bet she made that eventually she'd say something about her feet hurting. But the entire time, it was just her reliving the first time they walked in that park verbally.

"You looked like you were scared of me," Sooyoung laughed.

"No I didn't!" Jinsoul defended. "I just thought you were... pretty, or something! It's hard talking to pretty girls, y'know!"

"How do you suppose I talk to you then?" Sooyoung teased.

"You slick bastard," Jinsoul groaned, pushing Sooyoung's shoulder. "I'm not as pretty as you, you wouldn't get it."

"I know. Gosh, how can you handle even standing next to a woman like me?" Sooyoung flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Jinsoul giggled, "You ask me as if I'd know."

They stroll through the grass towards the swings, Jinsoul letting her bottle of tea down before jumping on the one next to Sooyoung's.

It's quiet for a peaceful moment. It's just Jinsoul looking down at her feet, swinging herself up then down, and Sooyoung looking over at her. The park lights shine round the circumference of the field, but it was still mostly dim where they sat.

"Are you gonna ask?" Sooyoung questioned.

"Ask what?" Jinsoul replied in question, looking at Sooyoung.

"How it went!" Sooyoung exclaimed. Jinsoul was quiet. "You know... the date?"

"Oh." Jinsoul brought her line of vision back to the grass below them. "Yeah. How'd that go?"

Sooyoung hummed in thought, as if she didn't basically ask Jinsoul to ask her the question. "Good. Great," Sooyoung said through a smile. "She was kind of awkward."

Jinsoul tossed her head up at that. "Really?"

Sooyoung grinned. "Everyone is on the first date," she explained.

Jinsoul nodded and fought to keep the smile on her face. "What'd you guys talk about?"

Sooyoung looked at her lap as she swung for a few seconds. She brought her head back up to Jinsoul to look at her again. "She asked about you a lot."

Jinsoul blinked.

"She said you two are partners for the new computer science thing," Sooyoung said. "That you'll be hanging out with her a lot because of it."

Jinsoul wanted to roll her eyes and beg Sooyoung not to remind her, but she only nodded.

"Wanted to know how we met," Sooyoung continued. "I told her most of it. Some things I didn't." She smiled. "It'd sound too much like you're my girlfriend."

Jinsoul forced a laugh. "That wouldn't be a good impression on a date."

Sooyoung laughed. "Yep. Unless the person's into polyamory."

"That's a no-go if you ask me," Jinsoul giggled.

"Some people like it," Sooyoung said.

"Well, if I was your girlfriend, I wouldn't want to share you with anyone else," Jinsoul said through more laughter.

Sooyoung smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

It went quiet for a minute, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

"We also talked about how college sucks," Sooyoung added. "Most of our conversation was pretty bland. She seems like she isn't warmed up to me."

"That stinks I guess," Jinsoul reacted.

"Shut up," Sooyoung laughed as she pushed herself towards Jinsoul's swing to kick her leg.

"Hey!" Jinsoul exclaimed as she kicked back twice.

Sooyoung giggled as Jinsoul morphed her face into a small pout as she kicked her bare leg. "You have pants on and I don't! Your sneakers are gonna mark me!"

"Take a shower then, stinky," Jinsoul said.

Sooyoung stopped to smell herself. "Do I smell bad?"

"It was literally a joke oh my god," Jinsoul explained as she shook her head.

Once Sooyoung stopped laughing she continued with her retell, "Okay, but after lunch Jungeun said she should go to class, but I said that I wanted to go to one more place first so she said okay. It wasn't true, I had no where to take her, but I didn't want the date to end awkwardly. So I just walked her to— gee I'm so stupid," Sooyoung laughed as she brought her hand to smack her forehead and leave it there as she basked in the already regretful memory. "Okay— there wasn't anywhere to go... so, don't you dare laugh at me," Sooyoung warned as she saw Jinsoul already biting back laughter. She looked like she was urging Sooyoung to continue, and Sooyoung shut her eyes tight. "A department store!! Don't ask why because I thought it was a clothing store so I told her I'd buy her something... and I told you not to laugh!"

Jinsoul had to catch her breath. "How, how couldn't—" she broke into another fit of laughter before she could reply.

"You're so mean! I'm opening up about my date and you laugh at me," Sooyoung complained. Jinsoul only continued laughing stupidly. "She was so underwhelmed oh my god.... she asked if it was the right place and I said yes cause I didn't want to sound like a loser who doesn't know directions, and she just kinda... picked up a pack of bolts and said I could get her that..."

Jinsoul might cry. "Noooo," she laughed, clutching her stomach. "Did— did you??"

"Yes!" Sooyoung whined, burying her head further in her hands. "I think I scared her off for good!"

Jinsoul tried to stop laughing to give her an encouraging 'you can't scare anyone away, you're too pretty', but she couldn't.

"Ughhh," Sooyoung groaned. "She'll literally never want to talk to me again."

"No, it's—" Jinsoul giggled— "fine."

"I literally bought her a pack of bolts!! For a present saying 'hey thanks for going out with me'!! It wasn't even three dollars!"

"What a steal, three dollar pack of bolts. She can use 'em, you know."

"She will literally never use them," Sooyoung whined. "Stoooop! Don't laugh at me!"

Jinsoul could barely breathe anymore. "Sorry!" She fell off the swing because she couldn't keep her balance anymore, and Sooyoung started laughing at her too.

Soon, they were both lying on the grass and calming down from fits of laughter with heavy breaths. "I could've peed," Jinsoul said.

Sooyoung let out one last laugh, hopefully. Anymore and she'd die from suffocation.

They stared up at the stars, lying in two different directions, their heads the only thing next to each other. Jinsoul looked to her side at Sooyoung, admiring her side profile. The stars were bright enough to cast a certain kind of elegant illuminance on them. Sooyoung's eyes twinkled, the light sparkling her eyes up, mixing her irises with the reflection of the stars to make a beautiful galaxy in her eyes. Her lips were plush and looked so damn kissable, and Jinsoul selfishly hoped Jungeun didn't get to taste them yet. She let her head lie on Sooyoung's shoulder, her perfume a thousand times more intoxicating when this close to her. Jinsoul felt Sooyoung turn to rest her head on her shoulder, too. Jinsoul let her eyes close as she took in the moment.

It was just them, and no one could take that away. Not even the sound of passing cars were present anymore. In this universe, right now, only they existed. In their own little world where Jinsoul could pretend everything was perfect and they way she dreamt of it to be. Where the inevitable felt a lot farther away, because Jinsoul felt a little better around Sooyoung no matter the situation. They lived in a world, in Jinsoul's head, where they can dance on the clouds, untouchable. Where they can wrap their arms around each other and sway to a beat no one knows except the two of them. A perfect world where Sooyoung told Jinsoul that she was her everything, and she made days feel a little more okay. Where Sooyoung said I love you and meant it in a way more than friendly. They could soar in the sky, two stars gleaming right next to each other, meant for each other. Created to be right next to the other until they collapse, fall into stardust and live again in the endless space. It was a world where Jinsoul not often felt herself in. But now more than ever, she lived in it.

Sooyoung cradled her nose into Jinsoul's neck, her breathing slowing, calm. Neither dared to talk, unwilling to break the serene silence placed so beautifully between them. Even when Jinsoul's heart burned because she knew Sooyoung wasn't feeling the same. She dared not to speak.

Sooyoung opened her eyes, looking into Jinsoul's. Time stopped when they locked glances, an exchange that felt like it carried more than every other one. One lighter than feathers, easier than living. Interlocked eyes like they had to decode the message hidden beneath the other's. Jinsoul hopes Sooyoung could read hers clearly, how her eyes spoke so loudly that she loved her. It's easier than admitting it in words. Jinsoul's heart quickened when Sooyoung slowly let a smile form on her face, or maybe it was just her imagination. But the smile was warm and gentle, welcoming like a blanket to be wrapped in. It might not have been love in her eyes, but Jinsoul could feel so much emotion in it anyway. She wanted to be loved by Sooyoung. And this felt like all she ever wanted; this felt like home.

Sooyoung closed her eyes again and spoke lighter than a whisper. "We should go home... I'll fall asleep."

Jinsoul wanted to cuddle up into Sooyoung's side. "You can sleep, I'll bring you home."

Sooyoung would have said no, but it was well past midnight now and her eyes drooped naturally. Jinsoul watched her chest rise and fall at the slowest pace, her breath on Jinsoul's neck. She watched her lips part slightly, pink and pretty. Her eyelashes rested on the apples of her cheeks. She was amazing.

Jinsoul only placed the most gentle of kisses on Sooyoung's cheek when she was sure she was asleep beyond the point of waking up. "Love you," she mouthed on Sooyoung's skin. "A lot."

Jinsoul picked herself up and took Sooyoung into her arms, letting her head rest on her chest as she carried her back to the dorm. It was difficult and Jinsoul felt like she wasn't strong enough, but what was more important was to get Sooyoung home.

She carefully tucked Sooyoung into her bed once she finally reached their dorm. She paid no more time in the room before walking into her own, not even able to properly put the blankets on herself before falling asleep.

\---

Jinsoul woke up from a knock on the door at 9:00am.

"Goddamnit," she cussed in a raspy morning voice. Her palms rubbed her eyes until she could open them properly. She missed her first two classes but whatever. Her bare feet padded against the floor as she opened the door to greet—

"Jungeun?" Jinsoul sleepily asked. She'd be more confused and mad if it wasn't for the fact she just woke up and didn't have the power to feel anything but sleepy yet.

"H-hi," Jungeun stuttered, still managing to sound a lot more alive than Jinsoul. Jinsoul stared at Jungeun as though asking for explanation. "The, uh, the project? I wanted to make a day one report... and I had no clue what you did yesterday."

The pissed off feeling was starting to kick in. "That's literally pointless though."

"I don't want to fail," Jungeun explained. "So I have to note what my experience is like compared to yours. I mean—"

"Can't I just tell you what it was like?" Jinsoul intervened.

"Y-yeah, I mean, I guess.. but it's more helpful to me to write the report now so I don't forget," Jungeun said.

"Okay. Well, if we use electronics in classes. What then?"

"Then I won't have to know that part..? It's classes, if you're told to use an electronic you can't say no."

Jinsoul sighed, "Whatever." She walked into the kitchen and saw the tea box still on the counter. She must have forgotten to put it away. She looked on the counter for her water bottle, ready to refill it with water. She scrunched her eyebrows when it wasn't on the counter. She opened the refrigerator to check in there, but there was nothing. She couldn't have lost the bottle, it's special! Sooyoung gave it to her!

Not in her bedroom, the kitchen, or even Sooyoung's room. That— fuck, that means she definitely left it at the park.

"God fucking damn my pitiful life!" Jinsoul cussed as she slid her shoes on.

"What happened?" Jungeun asked, immediately jumping from the couch at Jinsoul's state of anger.

"Going to the park to retrieve some damn bottle. You coming?" Jinsoul asked against her will, knowing she'd follow even if she didn't ask.

"Alright," Jungeun agreed.

The park was a lot less fun when it was daytime. And when it was Jungeun you were stuck with. And when there were annoying kids running everywhere. She picked up the bottle that, thank goodness, was still there, and ran back to Jungeun.

"Got it," she said. Jungeun nodded and walked by her side.

"Wanna get breakfast?" Jungeun asked casually.

Jinsoul couldn't deny that she was hungry. "Alright."

Jungeun wasn't as annoying when it was over a plate of delicious, problem-solving waffles. Breakfast was indeed the truest solution to any conflict.

"I'd rather die than go to algorithms," Jinsoul complained. "That is not a stretch whatsoever. I would gladly take up the art major instead of I wasn't already a hard-working semester into my degree."

"It's never too late," Jungeun advised through a mouthful of fruit. Jinsoul gave her an odd look. "No, really," she said with a clearer voice now. "Do what you want to do. Why're you taking computer science anyway?"

Jinsoul looked down at her plate and sighed, "Parents. And to get hella rich."

Jungeun chuckled, "A convincing benefit. But for real, if you hate it, don't do it. Why waste four years of your life on a degree you take no actual interest in?"

Jinsoul hummed in thought. "What do I do if I did take an art major? I don't see many artists getting rich and shit. All the famous ones only got recognition after they died."

"I mean, how much can you do with computer science if you don't really like it? Y'know? Spending your entire life on something you carry no passion towards... pointless in the long run," Jungeun explained.

"Hm. My parents would probably yell at me until I guilt trip myself into majoring again," Jinsoul joked.

"Better to quit sooner than later." Jungeun shrugged. "But in the end, it's your choice. Life wasn't made to be easy."

"Don't go all motivational speaker on me, Jungeun," Jinsoul scoffed.

"I won't, I won't," Jungeun confirmed. "Anyway, that Sooyoung girl. Seems like she really admires you."

"That's _golden_ coming from you," Jinsoul laughed.

"How so?" Jungeun asked.

"Never mind," Jinsoul shook it off with a smile. She was a happier person when she had a full stomach, even to Jungeun. "But what do you mean by that anyway?"

Jungeun smiled. "Just liked talking about you two. I asked and she answered gladly."

"That's just her being a good date," Jinsoul informed.

"Did I tell you that she brought me into a department store and said 'buy anything'?" Jungeun asked, watching the way Jinsoul erupted into immediate laughter. She laughed along with her. "Not even kidding. So I just picked up a pack of bolts and told her that much was fine."

It was even funnier when Jinsoul remembered the utter look of despair on Sooyoung's face. "And they say romance is dead," Jinsoul commented.

Jungeun giggled, and for once, Jinsoul felt unannoyed talking to her. She wasn't that awful when she actually tried to have a good conversation. It's been half an hour and Jinsoul somehow finds herself telling her brief life story.

"—then my mom told me we were moving, and you know, that doesn't hit so well when you're an insecure fifteen year old with barely two friends already. I had no clue how I would fit in, right? Flash forward high school because that served for no good memories whatsoever, I'm waving my parents goodbye and heading off to college," Jinsoul finished. "And now I'm here, reliving it all. Not as epic as you might've thought it would be."

"I didn't expect much from your life anyway, no worries," Jungeun teased.

"What the fuck??" Jinsoul laughed. "Is that your way of telling me I'm a boring bitch?"

"Take it as you want it," Jungeun said.

The waitress came to the table and Jungeun paid the bill, then zipped her sweatshirt back up.

"Alright, let's go now," Jungeun hurried, standing up and waiting for Jinsoul to do the same to walk back outside. Jinsoul got up with the empty bottle of tea she grabbed earlier and followed her side, basking in the breezy air. It was hot as fuck in that restaurant, she could've broke a sweat.

Silently, with a silence a lot more awkward than the one Jinsoul and Sooyoung could blanket themselves in, they walked back to the dorm. Jinsoul was about to open the door when she decided against it, turning her body to face Jungeun completely. Her face was written with confusion.

"Why the fuck do you need to be here if you have classes, anyway?" Jinsoul asked.

Jungeun didn't answer, only shrugged her shoulders and dug her hands into her pockets. Jinsoul was starting to get mildly annoyed again with her.

"You know, it's kinda fucking creepy to just be in my dorm the whole day. _My_ dorm, to repeat. You got your own. Can't I get some privacy? I'm not even trying to be mean. I went out with you to breakfast. What else do you want?" Jinsoul asked in concealed aggravation, only discernible if you watched closely.

"What?? I was... trying to be a decent human being??" Jungeun argued. "I won't be in your dorm all day. I just came in earlier because I wanted to..." Jinsoul was straining to hear the rest but still couldn't get anything.

"Huh?" she asked.

"I just wanted to take you out for a d-date!" Jungeun repeated with closed eyes, praying she wouldn't get her ass beat in this hallway right here.

"That's a pretty lame excuse. You said earlier," Jinsoul began, "that you were here because of 'the project'. And it wasn't a date. So?"

"That too!" Jungeun exclaimed. "The plan was to just take the notes over coffee or something... but then we left the house anyway and— I got caught up..." Jungeun looked up at Jinsoul, who still looked completely aggravated. "Look, Jinsoul, I know it's hard to believe but I really am sorry. I should have just... left you alone. I acknowledge that, okay? And I really do apologize. It was a mistake for me to choose you to be my partner. Sorry. I'll go now."

Jinsoul sighed with all the breath that her lungs could have held as she listened to the sound of footsteps getting further and further away from her. "Jungeun," she called quickly, causing said girl to stop in her tracks and turn around. "We'll discuss later. After your class or whatever. Meet me at your dorm."

Jungeun nodded once and progressed on her way away from Jinsoul with a heavy heart. Jinsoul groaned to herself and shoved her body through the door.

"Sooyoung, I've officially given up on life," she announced loud enough for Sooyoung to hear from her room

"Nice," Sooyoung replied. "Why?"

Jinsoul mumbled as she made her way to Sooyoung's bedroom, "Jungeun has to go over project no fun with me." She purposely left out the part about Jungeun telling her she wanted to take her out on a date not even twenty four hours after the date she had with Sooyoung.

"It's amazing how I've learned to decipher your mumbling after all this time," Sooyoung sighed. She stretched out her arm and patted the spot on the mattress beside her, practically begging Jinsoul to lay there with her. Jinsoul all too easily obliged, a smile she didn't care enough to hide brightening Sooyoung's entire day. Sooyoung lazily wrapped an arm over Jinsoul's waist, holding her close and keeping her there while their legs intertwined with each other's.

"How's your day?" Sooyoung asked.

"It's okay," Jinsoul answered, debating on whether or not to tell her about the breakfast thing. She decided against it. She let her forehead rest against Sooyoung's collarbone. "Tired."

Sooyoung chuckled groggily. "Same. I just woke up. We fell asleep late last night though."

"Skipping classes?" Jinsoul questioned.

"By the looks of it, you'd be no different," Sooyoung noted.

"Touché," Jinsoul agreed.

Sooyoung let her eyes close again. "How's living with no phone treating you?"

"Like shit," Jinsoul supplied the answer immediately. "Like a big punch in the face. It's been one day and I already want out. I still have the entire month to go, Sooyoung. Relieve me of this pain."

"I can try," Sooyoung responded. She kissed the top of Jinsoul's head and smiled against it. "Is it better?"

Jinsoul's heart was shaking in her chest. Literally shaking. "Mhm. Yes."

Sooyoung opened her eyes and sat up from bed. "You hungry?"

"Not really. Just ate."

"What'd you have?"

Jinsoul shrugged. "Waffles. Went to a restaurant after I grabbed the water bottle I left at the park last night."

"You didn't invite me!" Sooyoung seemed a lot more awake, and offended, now.

"Early bird gets the worm, loser," Jinsoul giggled.

"Shut—" Sooyoung began.

"We can go out for lunch, I promise," Jinsoul compromised.

"Okay." Sooyoung stuck out her hand as if to seal a deal. "It's settled."

Jinsoul laughed at Sooyoung's immaturity but shook her hand nonetheless. With their holding hands, Sooyoung pulled Jinsoul up from bed and dragged her into the kitchen. Sooyoung looked in the fridge and hummed.

"How do we feel about eggs ladies," she proposed.

"Whatever you want," Jinsoul obliged. "I'm not eating anyway. Even if you are a great cook and all."

Sooyoung scoffed as she took out the egg carton, using it to accusingly point at Jinsoul. "Just know you're missing out on some bomb ass eggs."

Jinsoul snorted at that.

"Excuse me?! What, you think I don't make the best eggs in the world?"

"Hey! I never said that!"

"You _implied_ it! With your _laugh_!" Sooyoung quarreled.

"You do, in fact, make the world's greatest eggs, okay?" Jinsoul surrendered.

"I know," Sooyoung agreed.

They sat at the table by the TV and silently watched the shows that came on as Sooyoung ate her eggs. "You think this is cheating?" Jinsoul asked.

"What?" Sooyoung asked for clarification.

"Watching TV. Isn't it technically using an electronic?"

"Pfft," Sooyoung laughed. "Boohoo if it is."

Jinsoul nodded. "Hey, what time is it?"

"Like one-ish. Why?"

"Supposed to meet someone," Jinsoul answered.

"Ooh~ is it... a girlfriend?"

" _God_ , no," Jinsoul heartily laughed. "Tutor for calculus." It's amazing how easily Jinsoul could lie, but she had to protect Sooyoung's emotions. She wouldn't want to crush her heart by telling her she was meeting with the girl she was interested in, she would definitely take it the wrong way. This way, it was safer, and no questions were raised.

"Dumbass, oh my god," Sooyoung laughed.

"I'm dumb cause I'm getting help?"

"I was only kidding, I'm glad you want to improve."

"I know," Jinsoul giggled. She feels bad because she knows she's definitely not getting help with calculus and, at that, not going to be getting any better at it. "But I should get going now. Gotta see them soon."

Jinsoul slipped her shoes on and said goodbye to Sooyoung before heading out to Jungeun's apartment, pretty confident in her ability to get there without directions by now, even though it's only the third-ish time she'll be there.

\---

Jungeun doesn't arrive until ten minutes after Jinsoul arrives at the front door of the dorm room. "Oh," Jungeun says, startled. "Already?"

"...Yeah?" Jinsoul responded.

"You could've just went in," Jungeun said, opening the door. "It's unlocked."

"Didn't want to get too comfortable," Jinsoul sighed.

"Why not?"

"Cause I'm only here to explain my day one. I'll be back home with Sooyoung right after. No more... dates, or— whatever you called it."

"With Sooyoung?" Jungeun asked.

"No, with me," Jinsoul denied.

"Didn't you say the breakfast wasn't a date?"

"You're overanalyzing it," Jinsoul ended the topic. "Anyway. Get out your notebook or something. Laptop, I don't know. I'll tell you my day and then I'll go."

"Go for it," Jungeun allowed once she was all set, fingers ready to fly across her keyboard.

"It was easier than I thought it would be, but I'd still much prefer life with it. It was boring and I hated most of the time spent without my phone. I don't expect for the— wait, are you even supposed to use your laptop?"

"Goddamnit Jinsoul, _yes_ , it's for educational purposes. Now continue," Jungeun groaned.

"Where was I.. oh, but I don't expect the other days to be as easy as the first few might be. Done?"

"Got it," Jungeun confirmed. She saved the document and shut her laptop off, plopping it on the table and looking up expectantly at Jinsoul. "You can—"

Jungeun was interrupted by the booming sound of thunder, erupting through the otherwise somewhat calm atmosphere. She looked behind her shoulder to the window, then moving to shove the curtain out of the way to see the weather conditions.

Jinsoul stood beside her, leaning forward to get a glance as well. "Fuck— how am I supposed to get home now?!"

"Bus?" Jungeun suggested.

"I'll still get soaked by the time I get to the stop..." Jinsoul muttered, thinking of absolutely any way to get back home. As much as she loved the comfort of her dorm, she would much prefer to not get drenched on the way there. The rain hit the road pretty hard, anyway.

"Jinsoul, in the nicest way possible: you're screwed," Jungeun sympathizes with a hand to Jinsoul's shoulder, delivering one pat before moving away from the window. "You can stay here until the storm calms. I can make lunch or something."

Jinsoul defeatedly closes her eyes and chokes on the taste of her next words. "Alright, fine, I'll stay here for the night."

"That wasn't what I offered..?" Jungeun turned to look at her with scrunched eyebrows.

"By the looks of it, it won't be stopping any time soon," Jinsoul sighs dejectedly. Jungeun hums and nods, turning to browse the food selections.

"Suggestions for lunch?"

"Umm.. you got... like, ramen, or something?" Jinsoul asked. There wasn't much to choose from when it came to university groceries.

"I-I mean, yeah? But wouldn't you prefer something better..? I can make something with meat? It's more filling," Jungeun claimed.

Jinsoul's head perks up, eyes wide. "Are you a good cook?"

"I mean," Jungeun laughs. "Not to toot my own horn but... I make some mean pork cutlet."

There's a similarity between Sooyoung and Jungeun, Jinsoul notes with a laugh. They both praise themselves when it comes to cooking ability.

"Alright, master chef, show me your capabilities, then," Jinsoul challenged.

"That sounds like a bet so I am not backing down now," Jungeun chuckles.

Jinsoul makes her way to a stool by the kitchen counter on the opposite side of Jungeun. She watched her grab at spices and seasonings that Jinsoul definitely couldn't afford (so how the hell could Jungeun?) and do whatever chef things she had to do to make the food.

"Where did you even learn how to cook?" Jinsoul asked as Jungeun poured the bread crumbs into a bowl to coat the pork in.

"My parents," Jungeun answered easily. "They weren't proud of me for much, but at least they could take pride in the fact that I listened and learned from them."

"I can't tell if that's happy or sad," Jinsoul said.

"Eh. Depends. I wasn't really upset about it? Like, at times it was a bit discouraging I guess but for the most part I didn't really connect with my parents much," Jungeun cleared up. "They're just... kinda the people I grew up with, right? After I moved out, we haven't really talked. I don't care too much about what they're up to these days and I don't assume they care what I'm doing either, so it's just easier this way."

"What do you mean 'this way'?"

Jungeun shrugged. "Not connecting anymore. I haven't forgot about them and I'm glad they chose to raise me instead of... I dunno, throwing me out, I guess. We just... don't talk, simply put."

"Huh," Jinsoul emitted as she nodded once in consideration. "You don't talk to them ever? Why are you doing computer science then?"

"I've already told you," Jungeun sighed.

"All I know is that an ex of yours was interested and then you were too. If you said anything else about it I definitely wasn't listening."

Jungeun put the meal in the oven and set the timer. When she came back to Jinsoul, she leaned atop the counter, holding her head up with her hand. "I had a girlfriend at the end of high school, she talked a lot about science and math and other shit like that. I think we dated for two months before I showed her my parents, and, uh— I don't think they liked each other that much."

"Why?" Jinsoul questioned.

"Hm. My parents didn't like me dating a girl. Even though I told them I don't like boys and I'll never be able to like them. So they weren't fond of her. I felt really bad for her... so after that, my parents forced me to break up with her. I didn't, of course, but still. To make sure I didn't hang out with her anymore, they made me stay in my room everyday."

"Jeez," Jinsoul flinched.

"During the nights, I would sneak out through my window to meet her behind the school. It was at walking distance for the both of us, so it was okay. It was nice to be able to talk to her without anyone else having to listen, or to see us." Jungeun looked down and stopped for a moment, as if the counter she stared at was the most interesting thing to look at. "And then my parents found out. They taped my windows shut to make sure I didn't sneak out again. I didn't know what I did. It's not like I was committing a crime by loving a girl. They made sure that I wouldn't be out with her again, though."

_Jungeun's eyes hurt. They hurt to even be open. Her father was towering over her, leaning into her space with a pointing finger pressing harsh into her chest. Her mom didn't do anything, she only wrapped her arms around herself and watched with a frown on her face. Jungeun didn't know who she was disappointed with anymore._

_"You goddamn homo," he cussed into her face, scorn in his voice. "I fucking gave you one rule— just one, you fucking bitch. And you couldn't even follow it."_

_"Listen, wait—" her mother tried to intervene but her father was persistent._

_"You piss me off! Why couldn't I have just gotten a normal fucking child with a working brain?! You lesbians have some sort of mental illness, dating each other. You have some nerve, Jungeun. Thinking you can disobey your family like this. We're already despondent that you're like this. But now? Now you're just blatantly fucking defiant. You're sick in the head, you're—"_

_"Well maybe if I had accepting parents I wouldn't have had to sneak out every night!" Jungeun shouted. "Maybe if I had parents that f-fucking loved me, none of this would have even happened! Just let me go!"_

_Instead, he growled and tugged on the collar of Jungeun's shirt, uncaring even when she screeched. "Shut your damn mouth!"_

_"Fuck you!" Jungeun cried, hot tears blinding her, trailing down her cheeks and falling from her chin. She struggled to catch her breath through her cries. She was staring right back into her father's eyes, unwilling to let him win. He was the wrong one. It's okay to love, and Jungeun knows that. They can take away her freedom and they can take away her happiness, but they will never be able to change the person she is. He clenched the fabric of her shirt tighter, until it was getting hard for Jungeun to properly breathe._

_"I can fucking kill you right now, if you keep talking like that!" he warned._

_"Y-you wouldn't," Jungeun stumbled but had a confident voice. "You're too scared. You know Mom would call the cops."_

_"Then why isn't she stopping me now?"_

_"I—" she tried again, but he wouldn't let her talk._

_"Don't even act like you're not disappointed with our daughter," he spat._

_"But you're going too far! She can barely breathe!" she yelled._

_He looked away from his wife and looked back at his daughter, her face red and damp with emotion. He let go of her shirt with a forceful shove, letting her back hit against the wall. She looked up at him, scared, but not ready to back down. She stood a little taller._

_"Dad. You can't make me a different person. I am who I am. I love who I love," Jungeun attempted._

_He sighed and clenched his fists tight, though keeping them at his sides. He looked at Jungeun through angry and unaccepting eyes. "You're not my daughter, then. I can't have a child who goes against nature like this."_

_"Please, Dad, just learn to accept me!" Jungeun began to beg. "God, please! I love Jiwoo! You can't take her from me!"_

_"No you don't," he hissed._

_"I love her more than I love you guys!" Jungeun raised her voice. "She loves me more than you guys ever have! She makes me s-so much happier, and she makes me actually like being alive."_

_He stared at her, unresponsive, as though he didn't hear a word of what Jungeun screamed. He shook his head and turned away, walking out of sight. Jungeun's mouth fell slightly open, in shock that she got through him. That she made him leave her alone. She smiled, smiled even though she felt like shit, and sank to the floor, holding her head and sobbing into her palms. She did it._

_By the sound of it, her mother had left too, and now it was just her crying in an empty room, with a feeling of accomplishment and still melancholy swirling through the air. It was a mix of a delightful and horrible feeling, her head so confused and she just wanted to sleep. Her back was still against the wall, and she leaned her head until it fell against it, too._

"They didn't talk with me much after that. I was still locked in my room for a while, minus school. That was the only time I got to talk to Jiwoo anymore. I enlisted in more computer science classes for the last semester because those are the classes she liked," Jungeun explained. "And I guess it started there. My passion for computer science, I mean. Once we were off to college, we decided it would be best to break up. I've moved on, but it took a few months, y'know?"

Jinsoul nodded and said nothing. There wasn't anything to say to that, anyway. Especially after she opened up about such a memory, one that must've been haunting.

Jungeun looked at Jinsoul, looked at the way she wore such an empathetic look. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jinsoul confirmed. "I'm just... gosh, I'm sorry I've been such a dick to you, I guess. I don't know why that made me feel so guilty, but you really deserve better parents than that. Anyone does."

Jungeun hummed, almost shocked that Jinsoul was talking so humbly to her. She looked into her eyes and Jinsoul did the same, Jungeun glancing quickly down to Jinsoul's lips. She really didn't mean to.

Jinsoul didn't know why she wasn't moving back when Jungeun moved forward to Jinsoul, lips parting slightly.

"Jinsoul?" she whispered.

"Y-yeah?"

"Thank you." Jungeun looked up into Jinsoul's eyes. Before she could move or say anything further, the oven beeped loudly, alarming the girls that lunch was ready. Jungeun prepared the plates and they are in mostly silence, other than Jinsoul thanking her and commenting on the fact that she really wasn't lying when she said she was a good cook. Jinsoul was flushed with embarrassment and flustered emotions the entire time. She can't believe they almost fucking kissed.

The storm has already calmed, but it was still drizzling outside, so Jinsoul decided to wait it out for a bit longer. It must have been almost eight at night now, and _F.R.I.E.N.D.S_ can only keep you entertained for so long (even if it had a few funny moments throughout each episode). Jungeun was in her room and probably asleep or studying or doing other Jungeun things that Jungeuns do. Jinsoul sighed, wishing she had her phone to text Sooyoung or play cup pong on iMessage or something. She laid back on the couch and let her eyes close, hoping she'll wake up before the morning comes. Napping was more entertaining than anything else she could've done right now, anyways.

\---

When she awoke, it was completely dark out and the sound of some Nick at night show was on. Her eyes adjusted to the dimness and she got herself up from the sofa, standing for a moment to make sure she was balanced. She walked to the front door to get her shoes back on her feet and left quietly, not wanting to wake Jungeun up if she was asleep.

It probably looked weird to be walking out of her place this late, and if others saw they might think she just got fucked by someone and is now taking the infamous walk of shame back home. At least it stopped raining, though. She avoided the puddles and walked calmly back to her respective dorm building, the front entrance being dead silent and completely empty.

The sound of the elevator opening was a lot louder when it was surrounded by the dead silent, and so was the beep of the button when Jinsoul hit the option to take her to her floor.

When she opened the door, she could tell the light in Sooyoung's room was on. She slid her shoes off and walked towards Sooyoung's bedroom, wanting to see, despite how nosy it was, what she was doing.

"—maybe three years ago? I'm not really sure. All I know is that it was one of the weirdest things I've seen," Sooyoung was saying when Jinsoul peeked through the open door frame.

"Sooyoung?" she called.

" _JESUS_ —" Sooyoung jumped, clutching her chest— "Fuck, Jinsoul. You could've gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry," Jinsoul apologized sheepishly. "Who you calling?"

"Jungeun," she answered, showing Jinsoul her screen that displayed Jungeun smiling and waving.

"Oh. Hi," Jinsoul greeted. She turned back to Sooyoung. "Why... are you calling her? And, Jungeun— you're not supposed to be using a damn electronic!"

"Felt like it," Sooyoung said simply, ignoring the latter half of Jinsoul's sentence. "Also, you didn't tell me Jungeun was your tutor!"

" _What_?" both Jinsoul and Jungeun said simultaneously.

"...She told me you were at her dorm? Right?" Sooyoung asked, confused at their reaction.

"Yes," Jinsoul confirmed quickly. "And we were just going over calculus, _right_ , Jungeun?" Jinsoul stared expectantly at Jungeun through the screen.

"Uh— yeah," Jungeun hesitantly agreed.

"Anyway, Sooyoung, I'm heading to bed. Night," Jinsoul announced as she left the room.

"Night!" Sooyoung repeated loud enough for Jinsoul to hear from her bedroom. "Anyway, where were we?"

Jungeun laughed and continued the conversation, and Sooyoung stared at her through the screen, admiring her unbelievable beauty. She loved talking to Jungeun, even if they were still kind of awkward together. She smiled every time Jungeun looked comfortable with her, she laughed every time Jungeun laughed. Jungeun was funny without trying, or maybe that was just Sooyoung giggling like a school girl at most things Jungeun did. She was cool and so great and Sooyoung really did think she could be her girlfriend and never get tired of it. Hopefully one day the feelings would reciprocate. But for now, as far as Sooyoung knows, Jungeun still considers Sooyoung a friend at most.

"I think I'm gonna go now," Jungeun announced. "I'll see you around. Bye!"

"Bye, Jungeun," Sooyoung said with a small smile. She fell asleep happily, knowing Jungeun said herself that they'll be seeing each other around. Maybe soon. Hopefully soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hlepjsjsjjs idk who will be endgame anymore,,.,.,.


End file.
